This Holiday-Themed Lingerie Is Festively Absurd

There's nothing quite as fun and festive as holiday-themed clothing. From ugly Christmas sweater parties to Santa hats worn all December long, there's no better way to show your holiday spirit and, I for one, appreciate the dedication. Sure, jingle bell earrings, a painted on Rudolph nose, and candy cane stockings may look a little silly, but why not get into the holly, jolly spirit of things? I'm rarely one to knock fashionable holiday spirit, but uh, this ridiculous holiday lingerie may take things just a wee bit too far.

I'm a girl who loves her lingerie (I went to Victoria's Secret on Black Friday and now I'm officially poor and eating ramen) and just try to get me out of my pink, rhinestone Santa hat. But who knew that mixing the two could be just so... wrong. While holiday-themed lingerie is nothing new and I understand the logic of wanting to give a significant other something fun to unwrap on Christmas morning, this naughty Saint Nick bedroom wear is just plain bizarre. I'm sorry, but Santa does not belong in the boudoir. That's just a little too much Christmas spirit for me, thank you very much.

Check out some of the absolute craziest Santa-inspired nighties and just try not to make a Ho, Ho, Hoe joke.

1. The "Unwrap Me" Teddy

First of all, I would just like to point out that Yandy has about 15 pages of creepy Christmas lingerie sets. So if you want to dress up like a sexy Santa, at least you have options...? Anyway, I guess this particular teddy is meant to reiterate the fact that you're the gift that keeps on giving. Or something.

2. A Sexy Elf Apron

I don't particularly find elves sexy so this isn't coming into my bedroom. I also feel that baking Christmas cookies in this would somehow be hazardous, so I'm pretty much finding the Sexy Elf Apron useless.

3. Naughty Toy Solider

I wanted to make a Nutcracker joke but I'm too ashamed.

4. Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe

Another holiday gem from Yandy. I will never, ever be able to look at mistletoe the same way again... However, I can't help but think how warm my boobies would be in that bra. I kinda actually want it for my morning commute.

5. Santa's Sex Slave

This naughty number comes with a chain and collar because nothing says Christmas like some light BDSM. Also, why is this model outside and carrying a wristlet? Where do you think you're going in that, young lady?!

6. The Sexy Santa Suit

Santa is a big, fat, white-bearded old man. I don't think he's supposed to be sexy. And neither is this awkward, V-shaped, suspender and belt teddy. Sorry if that opinion puts me on the naughty list.

7. A Sexy Snowman Fishnet Teddy

Just... why.

Images: 3Wishes.com, Yandy.com, LingerieDiva.com