Billy Eichner's Tribute to Taylor Swift = THE BEST

Prepare to hear your new favorite jam. Billy Eichner wrote a song for Taylor Swift called "Glitter and Ribs" last year, but she has yet to listen to and/or record his ballad. So as a last-ditch effort to get Swift to fall in love with the tune, Eichner went on Conan to perform it live. As the Billy on the Street comedian explains, "There's so many disturbing, upsetting things happening in our world right now — in our country and internationally — but Taylor Swift is writing about the most important topic: What happens when your boyfriend doesn't text you back?"

The piano-based smooth song starts out like Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" ("He was a boy, I was a girl, what more do you need to know?") before branching off into an interesting narrative. "With burgers on the grill and sparks on my eyes, he served me a fib with a side of lies," Eichner sings. The key line of the song? "Wish someone told me that life won't always be glitter and ribs." Other notable lyrics are the repetition of "heart like a horse" and the perfect kicker: "I was only 16... and you were 49." Watch below, and cross your fingers Swift adds this to her 1989 world tour set list.