Life

Things Only Your Bestie Can Say to You

by Sara Martinez

All you need in this life of sin is you and your girlfriend. Nobody understands you better than your BFF. She’s the first one you call after a bad date, the one person you’ll share those crazy Vegas stories with, and the one friend who will sing that horrible Karaoke song with you. But the most important part of this unique friendship is that both of you tell it like it is. You’ve got a booger in your nose? Oh wait, your bestie is going to tell you and hand you a tissue. She’s got your back, but also, your sides, and your front.

Here are the things that only your BFF could say to you, but no one else can.

“You should dump him/her.”

If you ever need to rely on anybody for the truth, look no further — your BFF’s got it. She or he isn’t afraid to tell you when you deserve better. It may sound harsh, but while everyone is making faces behind your back about your new boo, your bestie will say it to your face. Trust me, your best friend wants the best for you.

“I love you so much, but you have one too many crop tops.”

Your best friend is also your stylist. It’s like you’ve got your very own Rachel Zoe at your fingertips. She/he will say it like it is when it comes to your wardrobe. Your No. 1 friend is going to tell you when you’re buying too much black (actually, that’s impossible). Or she’ll tell you when those shoes have seen better days. At least you know you won’t be leaving the house looking like a fool when your best friend’s around.

“Insert screenshot of text convo … What should I text him/her back with?”

Nobody else, but your best friend, is going to send you a screenshot of a text convo with the word “HELP” after. You’ll only put your thinking cap on for a best friend — not just anybody. For her/him, you’ll become the text master and conjure up the best response possible.

“Please stop playing that Nick Jonas 'Jealous' Song.”

You and your bestie have been known to get down to some Celine Dion in the car together. He or she is like the DJ that knows those songs that go straight to your heart. However, your best friend is the ONLY person who can tell you to stop playing that one horrible, annoying song too. And weirdly, you take no offense to this. You know you need to be cut off from that overplayed song, and your friend is there to help you go cold turkey.

“Walk faster, I just farted.”

You and your friend do everything together. You walk together. You talk together. And, you fart together. A real friend is one who tells you to walk faster after they let out a silent but deadly. Thy are saving you from that horrible stench. True friendship at its finest.

"I’m pooping, let me call you in a second."

There is no subject that is off limits between you two. She knows you inside and out, literally. There is no poop too big or too small that will get between this friendship.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t pull off that pixie cut.”

Your BFF isn’t just your closest friend, they are also your hairstylist when you truly need ‘em. They are the ones who will tell you if you can pull off that Jennifer Lawrence pixie cut as well as she did. Your bestie tells you when you need layers, and you are so thankful for this. Without her/him, you might be in one hairy situation.

“Did you sleep with him/her? And more importantly, how was it? DETAILS, LADY.”

Your BFF is the only person that can ask you for those naughty details. If any other person asked, you would Michelle Tanner, “How rude!” them. But when your girl asks you, you can’t wait to tell her the play by play.

“Can I send you a pic of what I think is an ingrown hair so you can tell me it’s not an STI?”

We’ve all been there, you know it. There are moments in a girl’s life where she looks down and has a freak out moment. It’s only okay for your best gal pal to send you a picture of her “ingrown hair,” nobody else. There’s no one else you’d play doctor for.

“Is it weird that I just left you, but I already miss you?”

If you received this text from anyone else, you’d think, “stage 5 clinger.” But coming from your bestie, you think, “OMG, I miss you more!”

“Reapply that lipstick, girl.”

You know a person is your best friend when they tell you what’s up with your lipstick. Whether you need to reapply or you’ve got some lipstick all up in your teeth, he or she is there to tell you the truth. It ain’t the kiss of death, if it’s coming from your BFF.

“Ugh, can we raincheck tonight? I just want to stay in bed and watch 'Pretty Little Liars.' ”

The one person who can flake on you and tell you the actual reason is your No. 1 friend. You get it. Sometimes you just want to stay in too. There’s no shame in that. When all of your other friends are telling you, they have to “work late,” or “they’re not feeling well,” your BFF is actually telling you the truth. You’re more than happy with staying in and watching “Pretty Little Liars” with her too.

Images: Giphy (8)