Kim & Cheban Fight On 'The Hamptons'

I learned two very important things while watching Sunday night’s episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons: 1) Kim hates donuts and 2) the Kardashian-Jenner family has been battling a leak for years. And no, I don’t mean a faulty plumbing issue. I mean a person who siphons gossip from the Kardashian-Jenner family and hands it over to the ‘bloids. So, who might The Leak be? No, it’s not Penelope. (Now that’d be something, eh?) Kourtney and Khloe think Jonathan Cheban is mad sus, and they specifically ask that Kim not tell him about Kourtney/Scott/the therapist. Yup, the Kardashian sisters think Cheban is The Leak. The Leakban. The Le'Cheban. The Cheban CheLeak.

SURPRISE! Kim does not respect her sisters' request. While gabbing away during their BFF road trip to the Jersey Shore, Kim tells Cheban all about Kourtney/Scott/the therapist. WELP! So much for that.

Shortly after Kim and Cheban arrive to the Shore house, Kim receives a phone call from Khloe. Khloe says the press knows all about Kourtney talking with the therapist. Uh oh. Cheban is the number one The Leak suspect. UH OH. Kim denies spilling the beans to Cheban. UH OH! Khloe's like, "Mmhmm." UH OH!!!!

The next morning, Kim confronts Cheban. She’s convinced he tipped off the press about Kourtney and the therapist. He’s the only person she told! Erm, wait. If Khloe asks, Kim did NOT tell him. WINK WINK. An offended Cheban denies contacting any gossip rags, spits out some cuss words, and tosses a box of donuts and his cell phone at Kim. Then, Offended Cheban storms out of the beach house.

In a talking head, Kim says she looked through Cheban’s phone (atta girl, Keeks), but didn’t find any incriminating evidence. So, she reaches out to Sarah Koenig and pitches “Who is the Kardashian-Jenner Leak?” for Serial Season 2. My head explodes. IT'S THE CROSSOVER OF MY DREAMS!!!!

…Just kidding. The Serial/Kardashians crossover of my dreams is not real. Sorry. Here's what really happens: Kim calls her publicist. The publicist says paparazzi spotted and recognized Kourtney and Scott's Miraval therapist hanging out in the Hamptons. The press "put two and two together." And that is how the press knows Kourtney's been chatting with a relationship therapist.

Aha. Well, then. Cheban wasn’t The Leak after all.

Uh oh. Looks like Kim's got some 'splaining to do. North, Mason, and Penelope are not visiting the Jersey Shore, so Kim cannot hold one of the kids while she issues forth her apology. Ya know, her go-to apology move. Instead, she puts on some Seaside Heights souvenir gear and offers up a mea culpa. Cheban pretends like he's reluctant to accept, but within a few minutes, he's ready to hit up the boardwalk with his bestie.

And that's exactly what happens. ALL'S WELL! CHEBAN AND KIM ARE BFFS AND EVAAAAA!

May this be a lesson to us all: If you suspect your bestie leaked personal information about your family member months before that personal information is supposed to air on your family's reality TV show, ask your publicist before you confront your BFF.

Image: E!