Grumpy Cat and A Million Dollar Dog?

Certainly on a dark week to be alive, any news of the very soon forthcoming Aubrey Plaza Grumpy Cat Lifetime movie is a welcome bright spot. Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever isn't your typical Lifetime movie fodder, and Plaza as Cat references that a lot in the movie, which the Hollywood Reporter called "not the worst." Which is good news for Grumpy Cat, real name Tardar Sauce, who is already a veritable empire. Did you know you can buy a Grumpy Cat brassiere? BYE MONEY. Speaking of gratuitous extravagances, one of the major plot points in Worst Christmas Ever (yes, there are plot points) involves the theft of a Leonberger dog from the pet store, and the dog is supposed to be is worth one million dollars. Which, as a lover of pound puppies (always rescue!), I cannot fathom a dog being worth that amount of money. Is this possible?! I take my questions to the web.

According to the very comprehensive Wikipedia page about Leonberger dogs (which describes them as "gentle lions," so now I am crying the Leonbergers are a "giant" working dog who only lives about seven years (still crying) but says nothing of their value. Good thing there are useful resources out there like Outside Online, which provides a list of the 10 most expensive dog breeds. Spoiler alert: Leonberger did NOT make the list. What kind of conspiracy...? The least expensive Most Expensive dog was the Irish Wolfhound at $1,500 to $2,000 and priciest of the pooch bunch is the Samoyed, at around $11,000. Also they are SO CUTE LOOK AT THAT SMILE.

OK, so 11 grand — that's a big chunk of change. You could get a relatively nice used Jetta for that amount of money, and for a dog, that's crazy expensive. But yet painfully shy of the purported "one million" that the Leonberger in the Grumpy Cat movie is worth. Which got me wondering, what about cats? Taking a moment to thank the Internet for existing because in half a second, Google provided me with Grumpy Cat's net worth: 60 million pounds. Or roughly 100 million American dollars. I am terrible at math, but even I know that 100 million dollars is 100 times more expensive than JoJo the Leonberger. Something's not adding up.

In conclusion: there's no such thing as a one million dollar dog, although Leonbergers really are horribly adorable. What I've learned is I will definitely be seeing the Grumpy Cat movie.

Images: Lifetime, Getty Images