Say it with me now: “My name is _____, and I’m a bookaholic.”
Of all the possible addictions out there to end up with, I think we got pretty lucky. Our vice — if you can really call it that — has an amazing upside and a fairly minimal downside. I’ve given some thought to what my life would be like if I didn’t spend hours upon hours glued to a book or my Kindle each week. With all of that extra time on my hands, I’m sure I could increase the length of my average night’s sleep, spend more time socializing, cook better meals, and hit the gym more often (or, you know, at all).
Here’s the thing, though: The idea of not reading is something I can’t really wrap my mind around... and I don’t want to. Through reading, we learn life lessons, we’re transported into exciting new worlds, we laugh, we cry, and so much more. My reading addiction works from me, and there’s no way I’ll ever admit I have a problem. On occasion, my love for books may be a bit problematic, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go.
Below is my list of the 13 times a reading addiction is inconvenient, presented for the sake of commiseration, not as a cry for help:
When It's Time For Bed
You know you’ll regret it in the morning, but you just can’t put your book down and go to sleep.
When It's Time To Go To Work
Somehow the five minutes you were going to let yourself read before getting ready for work turned into 10… and then 15. Oops.
When You're At Work
It’s hard to be productive when your mind keeps wandering back to where you left off in your book and all you want is to know what happens next.
When You Have A Deadline
Reading can be dangerous for procrastinators. You don’t feel guilty about it because it feels productive — until you stop and think about just how much work you have to get done.
When It's Time For Midterms/Finals
Studying for exams is so stressful, and reading relieves stress. Perfect, right? WRONG. When you start down that path, you only delay the inevitable.
When You're Doing NaNoWriMo
You told yourself you were just looking for a little NaNo inspiration, and now you’ve fallen behind. How are you ever going to catch up?!
When You Have A Houseguest
You want to be a good host, but you also need some time to yourself.
When You're Traveling
Reading’s a great way to kill time when you’re on the move, but when you get where you’re going, it’s time to force yourself to get out of your fictional life and start exploring your real one.
When You're Driving
One of the first things they teach you in driver’s ed is that operating a motor vehicle takes focus, which means that reading and driving obviously don’t mix well together. It’s a shame; traffic jams and long commutes would be so much more fun if it were possible to do both. I guess that’s why they invented audiobooks.
When You Have Plans With Your Friends
I don’t know about your friends, but mine are not huge fans of the “I just want to stay home and read” excuse. That’s not to say that I never use it, of course. #SorryNotSorry
When You're At A Party
You made the effort and you went out, but this party is not as exciting as the book waiting for you back home. Maybe your friends wouldn't notice if you left?
When You're At The Dinner Table
The “No books at the dinner table” rule can be hard to live by. After all, when you can eat with one hand and hold your book or e-reader with the other, there’s no practical reason not to do it. Oh, but right, it’s rude and anti-social.
When You're At The Movies
The preview looked great, but now that you’re in the theater you realize you’ve been misled. It would be much easier to stick it out till the end if you'd bought the e-reader with the backlight.
Even a book-lover's relationship with reading can be a little rocky at times, but when it's good, it's really good.
Images: Francisco Osorio/Flickr; Giphy (14)
