How to Make Your Long-Term Relationship Feel New

The beginning of a relationship is all butterflies and daisies. It feels like a fairytale that you want to never end. But soon, those butterflies fly back down to earth, and the daises aren’t blooming as big as they used to. This fairytale story isn’t what it used to be. I’m not saying it’s a book of horrors, but it could use a little fairy dust. Most relationships go through this. You lose sight of those fireworks and don’t know how to get that intense spark back.

Here are some tips to make your relationship feel like it did in the beginning.

Spontaneity

In the beginning of a new relationship, it’s all about being spontaneous. As your relationship goes on, so does your routine. Routines are great, but you two need to spice up the spontaneity. Don’t you remember when you both used to go out on a work night, just because? Or when you decided to drive to Las Vegas that one weekend last minute? These are the nights you’ll never forget. Make more of those moments.

Kiss

Don’t you remember when you first starting dating and you two would just make out for hours on the couch? It was like you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, or your lips. As the relationship grows, unfortunately, the making out starts to fade. Well, I say, bring on those kisses again! Start acting like you two are teenagers and get to kissin’.

Reminiscence

An excellent way to rekindle your relationship is to reminiscence about when you two first met. Talking about the moment you first saw each other can bring back those old butterflies. Go on your very first date again and laugh about those silly awkward (but cute) moments you once had. Bring up your first kiss and how you knew he was the one when he just went for it.

Date Differently

Your once-romantic dinners turned into TV dinners while watching the news. Um, no, thank you. Turn this around. Start planning out actual date nights with each other. Switch off planning the dates to make it fun. Go on dates you both have never been on. Try a new kind of food together. Travel to a different city. Date differently.

Spice Up the Bedroom

Spicing it up shouldn’t just be meant for the kitchen. You also need to spice it up in the bedroom. If you and your partner’s sex life has become one note, you’re going to need to add in some flavor. Think back to how you two got down in the beginning and do those moves again. Let that wild side of you show again. Try out new moves, or even new places. Who knows where this can take you.

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Touch

In the beginning of your relationship, holding hands was the name of the game. You two were the cuddle masters and no one could dethrone you. How quickly things can change. Pick up those hands and start holding on to each other. Even hugging one another can make you feel more connected than you ever imagined. So in order to not lose touch with each other, start touching more often.

Words

In the first months of dating, you both used your words to express how you feel. After you know you have your relationship on lockdown, these words start to lessen. Those sweet loving texts aren’t being sent as much and those compliments aren’t being told as much. But you can’t lie, you miss those “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen” texts or those love notes left on each other’s cars. Start speaking up again. Tell your loved one how much you love him or her.

Sleep Together

Getting enough sleep in life is important. So is getting enough sleep with your partner. When a relationship starts, you two usually go to sleep together. But as months pass, you might be putting your relationship on snooze. One of you usually ends up on the couch watching TV, while the other decides to hit the hay alone. This creates less intimacy and is the opposite of rekindling your relationship. Start making a conscious effort to go to sleep together. A happy bed makes a happy couple.

Written by Sara Altschule