Most people love the holidays. Granted, there's always that one "no peppermint hot cocoa for me" person who, say, decides to tell you when you're nine years old that Santa Claus was something created by soda companies to sell more products (I'm still scarred by this, can you tell?) — but for the most part, people just love everything that the holiday season has to offer. There's the warm, cozy drinks, the powdery snowfall, the shopping sprees that end up with the "Oh well, it's the holidays, right?" purchase of a gift for yourself (you buy those fuzzy slippers, girl), the general good cheer for all. It's magical. But that's most people. Then there are those people who are completely obsessed with Christmas and everything it has to offer — and start planning for the holiday well before Thanksgiving even hits.
For those of us who decide to take our love for the holidays just a little bit further, things are always a tad more intense. Suddenly, you find yourself at Target in mid-November buying Christmas-themed Hershey Kisses in bulk. Because why not? Thanksgiving, to you, is just a pre-Christmas feast; it even has an entire parade with a grand finale centered around a Santa Claus float. I mean, come on, guys, it's pretty obvious that Thanksgiving is much less about Americans' impulse to eat food in bulk and much more about the fact that SANTA'S COMING. See that? Elf reference. The first sign of the obsession.
As for the other signs? There are ways to tell if your love for Christmas and the holiday season is sort of out of control, and as an expert, I can fill you in. Here are 21 signs that you're definitely, 100 percent one of those crazy, Christmas-obsessed people.
1. Christmas Music Is Not A Seasonal Treat, But A Way Of Life
You don't just wait until the stations start playing Christmas songs, no. Of course not. You have your favorites. Your go-to Christmas jams, if you will — and you start playing them months before December. Because they are cheerful. And happy. And filled with references to reindeer. How can you say no to that? Exactly.
2. Elf In General
As much as we all love to love the older Christmas classics, Elf has already become the favorite film of Christmas lovers. It's charming and hilarious, and it's fun no matter what age you are. Also, it's just fun to say "You sit on a throne of lies!" to people around the holidays if you're feeling uncharacteristically Grinch-y.
3. Going To Target Takes On A Whole New Meaning
This one needs no explanation. During any other season, Target is a goldmine (we all know what it's like to shop there), but during the holidays — it's simply heaven. Affordable decorations and candy and baking supplies and Christmas-themed clothing and stockings. They have everything, and it's wonderful.
4. Everything Becomes A Christmas Event
You don't just bake Christmas cookies. No. You bake Christmas cookies while drinking spiced apple cider, while watching Home Alone, while wearing Christmas-themed socks, while putting together Christmas gift bags for strangers at work. Everything becomes a chance to be Christmas-fied. Everything.
5. You Make Your Gift Lists In August
Not only do you know what you want to receive by sometime in August, you've already planned what you're going to get everyone else in your circle of friends and family. You know the price range, you know the gifts, you know the packaging. The card. The personal details that no one else would think of. You've planned it all.
6. ABC Family's 25 Days Of Christmas Is On 24/7
No Christmas is complete without a steady stream of Christmas romantic comedies featuring actors that we all vaguely remember from some other romantic comedy.
7. Two Words: Christmas Pajamas
If you do not like/own/frequently shop year-round for Christmas pajamas and/or Christmas socks, then you, my friend, are not truly Christmas-obsessed. And your loss, too, because something about throwing a snowman design on clothing just really ups the comfort level.
8. You Were Extremely Upset When Your Parents Finally Just Got A Fake Tree
Yes, you get that it's super inconvenient to lug a giant, sappy tree on top of a car and in and out of a house and then dispose of it. But, for the love of all that is good, it SMELLS magical. It's ALIVE. It's CHRISTMAS. "How could they?" you ask yourself every season your parents pull out the fake tree. You place each ornament on the tree with disgust. They have failed at Christmas, you think. Failed. Then you just eat cookies continuously for a while, and you get over it. But each year when they pull it out of the attic, something still feels a little wrong.
9. You Bake All. The. Time.
Cookies. And scones. And pastries. And cakes. And cupcakes. And more cupcakes. And more cookies. ALL with Christmas-themed sprinkles and/or frosting and/or shapes.
10. No Matter What The Temperature, The Fireplace Is On
It doesn't matter if the house itself is burning to the ground — that fireplace will be on. No matter what. It is a Christmas staple, right up there with cookies and overspending on gifts.
11. No Fireplace? Insert Extreme Envy
No fireplace? Well then you secretly hate everyone with a fireplace, because if ANYONE should have a fireplace during the holidays, it's you. You wait all year for the most magical time of the year, only to be disappointed by a lack of a wood-crackling fire to warm you as you write Christmas cards and sing along to Michael Buble's Christmas album. You will angrily scroll through pictures of perfect winter cabins on Pinterest while you gnaw on dozens of candy canes.
12. You've Already Watched The Family Stone And Violently Wept At Least Three Times As Of Early November
For being a relatively new-to-the-scene Christmas movie, The Family Stone never fails to disappoint. It's a little weird, and incredibly, heart-wrenchingly depressing at times, but it's wonderful and Christmas-y, and makes you appreciate your own dysfunctional family. You've already watched it a handful of times once Christmas comes around, anyway, so you get all the holiday sorrow out of the way early.
13. Hearing "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire..." Is A Religious Experience
You know that first time of the season when you hear "The Christmas Song" come on over the speakers as you buy gingerbread house material in bulk? It's magical. It changes you. Instantly, you are happier than you have been in years — or, well, at least since last Christmas.
14. Christmas Shopping Is A Sport
Starbucks holiday beverage in a red cup? Check. List and budget that you most likely will not follow? Check. Impulsive purchase of pine needle-scented body lotion? Also check.
15. Christmas-Scented Air Fresheners? Everywhere.
By the time you've finished cleaning out the candle and air freshener aisle, it's like you're living inside Narnia in your apartment. Close your eyes, and you are immediately transported to something akin to living on the branch of a Christmas tree, or inside Santa's workshop, or a combination of both. To most people, this may seem weird and overpowering, like entering Hollister. But still, to you? This is perfection.
16. "You're In Love, You're In Love, And You Don't Care Who Knows It!"
Yes, that is now my third Elf reference. You should all get why that's important. My point with this sign? If you are in love, Christmas is even a thousand times better. Gift-giving and mistletoe and cuddling up in sweaters and baking cookies for your significant other... ah, it's just lovely.
17. Slice And Bake Christmas-Themed Cookie Dough = A Necessity
This might be the lowest-quality cookie dough in all the land, but it is also the most nostalgic and wonderful thing that exists in the entire world. Plus, it's cookie dough, which, in general, is just awesome.
18. Those Weird Claymation Christmas Movies Scare You, But You Watch Them Anyway
Yes, OK, they're "classic." But, guys, they are SO scary at times. Don't stare at Rudolph for too long, because it really, honestly becomes like living inside of a nightmare. But you'll watch them anyway — you know, in the spirit of Christmas.
19. You Suddenly Think You Are A Millionaire
$100 here, $100 there. A bedazzled stocking for my dog? OK. No big deal. A way-too-expensive bouquet of flowers for mom? Obviously. A super crazy trip to Italy for your siblings? Why not? In the spirit of Christmas and gift-giving, you simply forget that you can barely afford Chipotle three times a week (although that doesn't stop you, obviously).
20. You Have A Sudden Urge To Dress Up Small Animals/Children Around You In Festive Clothing
Pinterest becomes very dangerous, because before the holiday season, the idea of either buying puppies/kittens and/or having children seems irresponsible or unwise, but now all you see is tiny plaid bow ties and little Christmas sweaters and oh gosh — the onesies. How can you resist? It's all so darn cute.
21. Instagram: The Christmas Edition
You will probably post (in no particular order) the following things: Homemade cookies, a holiday recipe you got from Pinterest, your Christmas tree in all its glory, you wearing a very large scarf and/or beanie while drinking Starbucks, all your carefully calligraphed Christmas cards, the "incredibly thoughtful/adorable" gift from your significant other, a gingerbread house that looks like it has been decorated by Nate Berkus, and finally, without a doubt — some sort of photo with a Home Alone quote as the caption.
Images: Giphy (21)
