Why Beyonce Doesn't Tweet

Queen Bey’s digital manager Lauren Wirtzer Seawood answered the question that’s gnawed at the Beyhive for years: Why doesn’t Beyoncé use her Twitter account? I mean, the singer joined the social networking site in April of 2009 only to post eight tweets. Ever. What gives? At the Web Summit tech conference in Dublin, Seawood explained that some artists and some social media platforms don't, as Cher Horowitz would say, mesh. Yoncé's all about the Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr, but as for Twitter...? No mesh. According to Stuart Dredge at MusicAlly, here's what Seawood said about Bey and Twi:

Currently, we don’t use Twitter at all. It is a personal choice. I think as an artist, Beyoncé really prefers to communicate in images. It’s very hard to say what you want to say in 140 characters. This is just a personal preference to her at this time. But also the Twitter channels are so crowded: it’s a different kind of experience that the fan has…

Hm. OK, then. So we shouldn't hold our breath for that Twitter account to pop off any time soon, eh? Bummer.

...Wait. I'm not going to leave it at that. I do not let go that easily. I'm going to latch onto that "Currently" and hope that means there's a chance it could all change in the future.

That "Currently" moved me to write an open letter to Queen Bey:

Dear Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter The Great and Powerful,

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but the comically slim chance reduces my hands to two sweaty meathooks. Writing the words "Dear Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter" about knocked the wind out of this devoted fan. I will take many a deep breath and do my best to continue.

So, your digital manager said Twitter doesn’t work for you. OK. I would never suggest you made a mistake putting your account ice (for that would be blasphemous), BUT I would say giving Twitter another chance couldn't hurt.

You're so excellent at social media. Your Instagram account is a work of art. I've lost hours scrolling through your Tumblr. Your Facebook timeline brings me great joy. Let's face it: You are amazing at EVERYTHING. I'm going to ahead and say without a trace of doubt that you would be amazing at Twitter. Because, like I said, you are amazing at EVERYTHING. Your e-presence on Twitter would be a gift to the world, I'm sure of it.

Please don’t give up on Twitter, Bey. We fans would lose our damn minds and fall out of our seats and pass out if you started tweeting random things about your day or interacting with other celebs or sharing links to weird Reddit threads. Hell, you could just post more pictures. Flood the timeline with selfies. I would not complain. I would be grateful. Because for a Beyoncé fan, there is no such thing as "too much Beyoncé."

And that's what it all boils down to: The more Bey, the merrier.

Your humble fan,

Kristie Rohwedder