In just two months we'll finally get to see what kind of Bachelor season we can expect with a farmer on board. But 60 days is a long time to wait, so ABC released their first Chris Soules Bachelor promo to tide fans over — and it is terrifying. In comparison to past Bachelor sneak peeks, this one doesn't feature any of the ladies nor drama to come, but it does feature talking corn. You heard me. But not just chatty stalks of veggies. No, they're creepy, whispering corn cobs and it's enough to make me not want to watch the season and totally want to all at the same time.
I knew the farm aspect of Soules personality was going to be prominent this season. I mean, his promo poster is him hanging out in a barn. I'm just surprised at the direction the producers took the preview. It's more Children of the Corn than a reality love show. Perhaps the switch up could be a good thing. On Bachelor in Paradise, the editing decision to have it look like Clare Crawley was talking to a raccoon was AMAZING. I just don't know if whispering corn does the same thing for me. Mainly because it's downright scary.
Here are the seven creepiest moments from the new Bachelor promo. That's a lot considering it's only a 30-second video.
INTRODUCING CHRIS
Don't turn your back on the camera and stroke the corn, Chris. It makes you look nefarious.
GETTING LOST IN THE CORN MAZE
Nothing good every comes from being surrounded by walls of foliage. This is a horror movie waiting to happen.
THE FIRST WHISPER
Annnd... we've entered horror movie territory "If you're the Bachelor, I'm the one," comes a creepy whisper from the rustling stalks. At first I thought they were going to have the ladies hiding in the corn. But no, it's just the corn talking. Chris, the corn really doesn't want you to go to LA. Maybe you can call Arie Luyendyk Jr. and have him replace you on the season?
THE SEARCH IS ON
He's surrounded by terrifying whispery corn and he can't find the source of the talking!
THEY'RE GETTING LOUDER
Angry whispering corn is so much worse than the regular kind.
THIS SMILE
All that happened and he's smiling about it? Did the corn take his soul? Should I send help????
WHERE DID THAT ROSE COME FROM?
He's in a corn field and then suddenly he has a bright red flower? Did he find it laying on the ground? It could be a trap, Chris! Don't be so naive!
Screen shots can't really do justice to the terrifying nature of this Bachelor promo, so watch it for yourself below. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Images: ABC (7)
