Entertainment
11 Amazing Nick Offerman Quotes on Love & Relationships Because Even Ron Swanson Has a Heart
It's easily to feel a little disheartened about love nowadays. What with the hideous trials and tribulations of online dating, the endless eye-roll-worthy moments of everyday single-shaming, and the overwhelming number of reality shows that will make you feel like romance is but a farce. It's either that or the fact that Winter is coming and there's only so much an adult-sized onesie and Netflix can do.
Fear not my fellow lovelorn hibernators, not all is lost, for Nick Offerman is in the world. The Parks and Recreation star is as much an openly bleeding heart romantic as he is a bourbon-loving craftsman. He is equal parts rose petals and saw dust. Reading about his marriage to Megan Mullalley will not only give you hope that love (with incredible sex) isn't dead, it will also restore your faith in modern romance. Take a look at how Nick Offerman talks about his marriage and get the warm fuzzies from a guy with a bristly mustache and a heart of gold.
When asked how to keep a relationship fresh, Offerman responded, ”I don’t care what Dr. Oz says, I prefer an old fashioned apple vinegar douche.”
According to Offerman, the best way to propose to the one you love is simple, “With respect.”
When it comes to romantic gestures, “Heartfelt is the most important thing…making it over the top makes it more about the giver than the receiver.”
On marrying a woman 10 years older than him, “There’s a real open student-teacher relationship where Megan is years ahead of me as far as the work she’s done and was on top of the game long before I was. It’s like having a master teacher at home.”
On how he views his wonderful wife, “I happen to be married to a comedy legend.”
On finding his one and only, ”We fell in love, and before long, we could just tell that we wanted to stay together and make a life together. We wanted to declare to each other and our friends and family that we were in it to win it. It’s important to note that it was not the result of any planning on either of our parts. In fact, we were both looking rather in the other direction when we ran smack into it.”
On gift-giving, ” A small handmade trinket or card is much more meaningful than anything you can purchase. And if your significant other scoffs at that and says something about diamonds, then you are with an asshole, and you should kick their dick out and watch Who’s The Boss? reruns to salve your wounded heart.”
On never holding back: “I think one of the things we find most attractive about each other is the lengths to which we’ll make an ass of ourselves in the name of comedy.”
When it comes to Offerman and Mullalley’s super sexy sex life, “It’s really about us being patriots. Patriots in intercourse.”
On learning from love, “I’ve learned from Megan that, no matter what I’m working on, to work as hard as possible.”
Lastly, on the true essence of relationships, “I wish I had a huge fart saved up to describe our love: silent but deadly.”
