Starbucks' New Menu Item Is Scary

There are times Starbucks is wonderful — so familiar, so cozy, so willing to let you use their bathroom without buying anything — and then there are times when Starbucks is terrifying. Like, for instance, those times when Starbucks announces a "secret" Franken Frappuccino just in time for Halloween. Are you scared yet?

Normally, Starbucks seasonal items are great. Remember how happy we all were when pumpkin spice lattes came early? Not to mention all the craziness they inspired, from pumpkin spice hummus to pumpkin spice John Oliver to freak outs over what exactly is in a pumpkin spice latte? And now that we've got all that out of our system, it's naturally time to look forward to switching to peppermint mochas, which might be available year round but are clearly meant to be loved during the winter months.

Now compare that to the dubious Starbucks Franken Frappuccino that just arrived on the scene. I mean, for one thing, it's green. Green. Beverages aren't supposed to be green. Green is for salad and iced Christmas tree cookies. What even is this thing?

Well, it's actually a green tea frappuccino with peppermint syrup, white chocolate sauce, and java chips, topped with whipped cream. But I'm still not over the part where it's green.

Anyway, if it sounds like your cup of iced and blended tea, you're in luck because Starbucks is running a promotion now through Halloween where you can get a grande size of one of these things for only three dollars.

And it looks like lots of people really are excited.

Though really, the biggest question here is why Starbucks is going around announcing secret menu items and giving them promotions and even putting out signs.

This is not how secret menus work Starbucks. It is why they are called secret menus. Really, get it together.