The worst part about being a Muggle growing up is that I never got sorted into my Hogwarts House at the age of 11, I had to wait several long and unbearable years for the creation of Pottermore and its quiz to reveal my true nature. When it finally happened, I didn't think I was going to be all that surprised by the results. I'd always been bookish and a bit neurotic about my schoolwork, so I figured I had Ravenclaw on lock. And if it wasn't that, then obviously I was in a Hermione Granger situation and would get placed into Gryffindor. You can imagine my surprise when I answered all the questions as honestly as possible and, after over a decade of living a lie, discovered that I was, in fact, a Hufflepuff.
A Hufflepuff? That couldn't be right. Nobody in my family was a Hufflepuff. And the mystery only deepened that night. My parents, both Gryffindors, somehow produced out of the four of their children a member of each house, leaving my three siblings ample opportunity to poke fun at my newly Hufflepuff-appointed self. I settled in and braced myself for the backlash.
But it never came. They accepted me the way that I was, and I learned something that night: I have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I'm now proud to call myself a Hufflepuff. I didn't understand what it meant and so I took it for granted, but as time has gone by I've come to appreciate the Hufflepuff philosophy and everything it has done for my life. Why wouldn't I want to be a part of a group as loyal and friendly as this? Hell, even J.K. Rowling herself admitted that Hufflepuff was her favorite house.
So it is for you, fellow Huffepuffs, that I write this today. We are Hufflepuff and we are proud (well, in a modest kind of way), and just in case you needed a reminder of how awesome your life is, here are a whole bunch:
You Get Along With Pretty Much Everybody
In fact, you make friends everywhere you go. Grocery lines. Gym locker rooms. The world is your friend oyster!
You Actually Like Sports!
Or more to the point, the idea of sports. You might not always know what's going on, but you are so down to watch the game, because you like anything that involves random dancing and, duh, free food.
You Really, Really Hate Conflict
Eep. Just think about how many problems we could have prevented by using our words instead of our unforgivable curses. Can't everybody just get along?
You're Really Sick of Everyone Asking You To Find Things
Has anyone considered that our "finding" skills are a metaphor? Like, I found inner peace. I'm done trying to find your damn keys.
That Being Said, You Are A Bonafide Badass At Hide And Seek
Good luck finding our common room, suckers.
You're A Creative Thinker
Hufflepuffs are natural born dreamers. Odds are you majored in liberal arts or blow off steam doing something artsy like drawing or singing or writing. It also helps that you're pretty uninhibited about sharing your thoughts and feelings.
You're Really Good-Looking
Or at least I'm assuming you are, based on our house legacy.
You Work Hard For Everything You've Got
We might not be the most intelligent, the boldest or the most ambitious, but we Hufflepuffs have one important thing going for us: we just don't know when to quit. Long after everyone else gives up, we'll still be plugging away.
This Was The Best Damn Moment Of Your Life
If John Green being a Hufflepuff isn't enough reason to freak out about the awesomeness of Hufflepuff, I don't know what is.
Job Interviews Are The Literal Worst
Wait, you want me to to look you in the eye and brag about myself? Until you tell me to stop? What's my first name again?
You Know Where All The Good Eats Are
As a Hufflepuff, you make it your personal duty to know where the best grilled cheese within a five mile radius is at any given location. Nobody appreciates a good meal like we do. Why do you think our dorms are right next to the kitchen?
You Always Have Extra Butterbeer In The Fridge
People are always coming over unannounced, because Hufflepuffs are super chill like that. And you can bet your bottom sickle that we're going to keep well-stocked on the goods.
You LOVE The Holidays
Okay, everyone loves the holidays. But Hufflepuffs start holiday decorating literally the instant the last trick-or-treater rings the doorbell. GAME ON.
You Never Really Belonged In A Particular Clique
Whether you went to muggle high school or Hogwarts, you ended up fraternizing with a people from all kinds of different groups. You can't really define yourself as one certain thing, so why not just be them all?
You Look Really Good In Yellow
Anyone can look good in black. But it takes a distinctly Hufflepuffian glow to pull off the fashion risk of yellow and black without looking like a human-sized bumblebee. Work it, Hufflepuffs.
You Know People Are Constantly Giving Hufflepuff Flack
Haters gonna hate.
But You're A (Honey) Badger, And You Don't Give A Sh*t
Seriously, why waste time justifying your house to jerks when you're better off spending your time doing something fun?
Although You Will Begrudgingly Admit, This Video Is Kind of Hilarious
Images: Warner Bros. Pictures; Giphy(18)
