My favorite way to deal with any type of issue is to avoid it at all costs. When I get into an argument with a friend, I send them cupcakes, because why talk it out when there’s cupcakes? When my husband and I get into a heated debate about the fact that the “fancy” dishes are for “fancy” times, and the plain white dishes are for everyday use (yes, I’m that anal), I dramatically leave the apartment, as loudly as possible down the five flights of stairs, and either go for a walk, get a drink, or go shopping. Then I feel better, and when I return home, I’ll just pretend it never happened and go on with my day.
While some people can stare conflict in the face, I just can't. It was even on a trip in which I was running away from the conflict of a broken heart that I met my husband, because that has become my M.O. in recent years. There’s an issue? OK; let me just book this flight out of town.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? If so, you’re a conflict avoider, too, and here are the 29 signs that confirm it.
DURING ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, YOU PLAY THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CARD
It’s easier than admitting you might be wrong.
OR NOD AND FAKE a SMILE
Sometimes silence is the best policy.
OR IMMEDIATELY CHANGE THE SUBJECT
It’s hot for October, huh?
OR REMIND THEM OF THE TIME THEY DID SOMETHING AWFUL instead of confronting the issue head-on
You forgot my birthday two years in a row!
if you get mad, you just HEAD FOR THE FRONT DOOR
If you stay away long enough, it will all blow over. That’s the thinking anyway.
and BEDROOM DOORS THAT LOCK ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND
Lock. Out. The. Drama.
AS ARE BATHROOMS
YOU’RE THE QUEEN OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE NOTES IN YOUR OFFICE’S KITCHEN
LIKE THE LECTURE ABOUT HOW COVERING FOOD IS KEY TO A CLEAN MICROWAVE. thank you!
If you're going to microwave a gremlin, please clean up after yourself, or do it at home.
(while you silently put A VOODOO CURSE ON THE PERSON WHO STOLE YOUR SANDWICH)
All anonymous of course.
WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE NOTE, YOU ALWAYS PLAY DUMB
They can’t pin it to you, because you disguised your handwriting like a pro!
because why stir things up?
As we went over, you hate conflict.
YOU’RE ALSO THE ONE WHO RUNS TO THE BOSS WHENEVER THERE’S AN ISSUE WITH A COWORKER
Sherry took credit for your work again, so Sherry will pay. It just won't be you doling out the punishment.
because You're Terrified of Bringing It up With Them Directly
That would be the worst.
AS LONG AS IT’S YOUR BOSS DOING THE CONFRONTING ON YOUR BEHALF, YOU DON’T CARE
ANY DISAGREEMENT WITH a friend or SIBLING RESULTS IN you HANGING UP ON HER
AND PUTTING THE PHONE IN THE OTHER ROOM FOR HOURS
If you can’t see it or hear it, it doesn’t exist.
BUT WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THE NERVE TO CHECK For Messages, YOU’RE OVERCOME WITH FEAR
I sometimes seriously consider changing my number when I fight with my sister.
you'd rather TURN OFF THE PHONE, IF NEED BE
For hours or days, it depends on how bad the argument was.
WHEN You Go OUT TO EAT YOU’RE THE EASIEST PATRON IN THE WORLD
No complaints here!
BECAUSE IF THE FOOD YOU GET IS UNDERCOOKED YOU DON’T SAY A WORD
Raw chicken is really yummy! And good for you, too!
NOR DO YOU POINT OUT THAT YOU WERE CHARGED FOR ONE DRINK TOO MANY
Maybe the waiter can’t do math, so why fault him for it?
WHEN PEOPLE ARE RUDE FOR NO REASON, YOU APOLOGIZE TO THEM
Not that you have anything to apologize for, but it’s easier than telling them to eff off.
BECAUSE HUMANS ARE A PRETTY PRECARIOUS LOT
And can be really scary, too.
AND FACING ANY ISSUES WITH THEM IS JUST NOT YOUR STRONG SUIT
SO KEEPING MUM AND RUNNING AWAY FROM STICKY SITUAITONS IS YOUR THING
AND YOU’RE REALLY GOOD AT YOUR THING
Go you!
...EVEN IF YOUR THERAPIST ADVISES OTHERWISE
Of course, you don't have the nerve to disagree.
Images: PoliCardo/Flickr; Giphy(24); GifSoup(4); WiffleGIF(3)
