Would You Wear a Bracelet That Says You're Single?

Just when you thought you were safe from those silicone bracelets that took over middle school, a couple in the U.K. has decided to revive them for the most… original… purpose yet. Their idea? Bracelets that indicate that you’re single.

No seriously, it’s a real thing. It’s already launched in the U.K. and it’s coming to America in a few weeks.

Rina Mardahl and Rob Young, the husband and wife who founded the company, say that the MY Single Bands are intended to help single people “find others they could quite feasibly have walked obliviously past earlier that day” by making it clear who’s single and who’s not… or at least who’s single. I don’t see these things becoming popular enough to be used for process of elimination.

The impulse behind the bracelets seems so sweet — young couple falls in love after a chance meeting and wants to help others find the same happiness — and Mardahl and Young both seem so earnest about their quest to “[give] fate, future and destiny a helping hand,” that it’s a little hard to make fun of the whole thing.

And yet…

...And yet, I’ve never felt like my relationship status was such a huge part of my day-to-day identity that I needed something to make it readily obvious at all times. You wear one of these bracelets and suddenly you’re single not only while out at the bar, but while doing your grocery shopping or taking your dog for a walk or, you know, working at your job. Maybe it’s just me, but all of these are times when I’m not looking to meet somebody. I have time set aside for that. It’s called going out. And even then these things would be a hassle by making it seriously difficult to play the “I have a boyfriend card” when trying to get creepy people to not talk to you.

The bracelets are a nice idea, I guess, but it makes being single a way bigger deal than it is, and I really can’t see how it would make people more likely to meet. I mean maybe, I guess, if they become really popular and everybody (single) actually is wearing one, then sure, they could possibly work in some circumstances. But since the reality is that they will probably never have enough people wearing them to seem live something other than dorky or desperate, I predict that they won’t do anything but remind us all how much we miss the Lance Armstrong of the “Live Strong” armband days.