One of the many great things about American Horror Story is the fact that it allows fans to see the same core actors play a variety of different — and usually highly eccentric — roles. That's probably why I'm champing at the bit to see Emma Roberts' upcoming AHS: Freak Show character. Sadly, she won't be in the first episode of the season.
That won't be easy, since we all await returning AHS actors with bated breath. One moment they’re a ghost haunting the halls of Murder House and the next they’re a patient over at Asylum's Briarcliff. Then, before you know it, they've become the newest member of a famous witch coven. (As one does.) Basically, the sky’s the limit (or maybe the limit does not exist). Either way, the show presents the perfect opportunity for these performers to stretch their acting chops — a tradition that American Horror Story: Freak Show definitely plans to uphold. You know, if you can actually find the time to appreciate the high-quality acting on this show amid the complete nervous breakdown Season 4 is sure to give you. (Seriously, you better have your therapist on speed dial for Freak Show.)
So where am I going with all of this? Well, last year Coven introduced viewers to Emma Roberts’ portrayal of the witchy-bitchy superstar actress Madison Montgomery. She was mean. She was selfish. She was vindictive. She was pretty much THE BEST character of the season. Whether you’re a fan of Roberts or not, I guarantee you couldn’t help but fall in love with this performance. Not to mention Madison’s fantastically delivered one-liners.
Surprise, bitch. Two simple words that spawned a million GIFs. It was the part this actress was born to play, which makes me wonder — how will Roberts’ AHS: Freak Show character, Maggie Esmerelda, measure up to her Coven counterpart? Very little is known about Maggie thus far, other than the fact that she’s a con artist who will pose as the freak show's fortuneteller to help her partner-in-crime Stanley (played by Denis O’Hare) steal away Elsa’s “freaks” from the inside out. I admit, it’s a pretty genius plan, especially since fortunetelling is definitely one of the easier skill sets to fake. Sword swallowing and contorting on the other hand? Not so much.
But as awesome as all of that sounds, I find myself worrying that Maggie won’t have the same spunk we grew to love about Madison. So just in case Roberts is looking for any extra pointers, here are a few ways she could go about topping that “Surprise, Bitch” moment and leave fans wondering, “Madison who?”
Have Maggie Predict Hilarious Futures
Whether it be through tarot cards or a crystal ball, having Maggie predict (aka fabricate) her customers’ futures would be downright hilarious, especially if she got a little creative with it. Twenty bucks says she intentionally tries to break up marriages by concocting fake affair stories. Thirty bucks if they accidentally turn out to be true. (Surprise, bitch — your boy toy’s been unfaithful.) The more sass she brings to her job, the better.
Have Her Make Pop Culture References
I know we haven’t met her yet, but something tells me a sassy Maggie is going to be my favorite Maggie. So having her use pop culture jargon to either insult or encourage her fellow cohorts should make for some pretty entertaining punch lines, especially given Roberts’ proven comedic timing. As long as it's time-period appropriate, of course — though she is technically a "seer" of the future, so we could probably give her a free pass.
Introduce a New Catch Phrase
There’s bound to be a million different things she can say, but anything that involves the word “bitch” at the end is bound to be a crowd pleaser. (Both Madison and Jesse Pinkman can vouch for this fact.) Who knows what that could possibly be, but I’d personally love it if it also incorporated some sort of fortunetelling tagline that she could say to her customers as they leave. Something like, “Have a nice life line, bitch.” Now that’s a saying I could definitely get behind.
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