Her Birthday Gift From Sia Is Pretty Cute

Tuesday, Queen of the ALDC Pyramid, the candy apple of Abby Lee Miller’s eye, and protagonist of the “Chandelier” music video Maddie Ziegler turned 12 years old. (I know, right? The years spin on like Jody Sawyer's turn combo in Center Stage's Big Dance Number.) Wednesday, the Dance Moms star posted a picture on Instagram of approximately 10 million pink balloons. In the caption, Ziegler thanks Sia Furler. Yup, Sia is the person responsible for the Ziegler-sized Hello Kitty balloon and a pink balloon bouquet. AUUGHHHHHHH-DORABLE. I love Sia, Dance Moms, and Hello Kitty, so yeah, this is my favorite story of the week. No contest.

If you had asked me to guess what Sia "Keepin' It Weird" Furler sent Maddie before I saw the pic, I would've probably said something along the lines of a blonde wig piñata, a chandelier made out of leotards, or a diorama of their Ellen performance. Hello Kitty and pink balloons would not be my on my radar. Don't get me wrong, it's a freakin' sweet surprise, it's just, uh, balloons are a little more straightforward than I would've anticipated. Y'all, Sia GOT me.

I realize Sia (or an assistant) probably placed the order online or over the phone, but because I am me, I can’t help but imagine Sia walking into a flower and balloon shop with a paper bag over her face, ready to pick out something for Ziegler. So, that's where I'm at right now.

Sia Shops For Maddie Ziegler's Birthday Balloons: A Fictional Tale

Sia walks up to the counter and asks the florist for the balloon menu. Initially, the florist is startled by the bag mask. As the florist begins to dial 911, the florist realizes the person underneath the bag is not a robber, but singer-songwriter Sia. The florist relaxes. The florist retrieves the book of balloon options.

"You have locations on the east coast, yes?" Sia asks. The florist nods.

After thumbing through book for 15 or so minutes, Sia points to an enormous bouquet of pink balloons.

"Pink is such a fun color, isn't it?" Sia asks. Sia doesn't wait for an answer. "I thought I'd go with the rainbow bouquet, but I've gotta trust my instincts. This is the one."

The florist wants to ask how Sia can see through the paper bag, but is too nervous to bring it up. The florist would rather leave it a mystery than be rude.

As Sia fills out the delivery paperwork, she stops suddenly. Something catches her eye: A giant Hello Kitty balloon.

"Could you bring that over here, please?" Sia asks, pointing at the Hello Kitty balloon floating among the other balloons on display. The florist, still curious as to how Sia can see through the bag, obliges. Sia stands next to the balloon, takes a deep breath, and touches the top of Hello Kitty's mylar head.

"Just as I thought. It's Maddie-sized," she says. "It's perfect. Add it to my order."

The florist obliges and tries to not react to the reveal that these balloons are for Maddie Ziegler. Sia pays for the balloons, thanks the florist, and leaves the shop. As the florist puts the Hello Kitty balloon back in its spot, Sia swings the door to the shop open.

"I had a thought on the way out: Does your company do singing telegrams?" Sia asks. The florist says no. Sia shrugs and exits again. Still clutching the Hello Kitty balloon, the florist passes out.

THE END.

Image: madisonziegler1313/Instagram