Caution: If you are reading this post during your lunch break, please refrain and come back after your food has been fully digested. Because this... this is a sight you will not be able to stomach. According to The Mirror UK, British reality TV star Bobby Norris was snapped wearing a "ball bag" swimsuits on the beaches of Ibiza. This is the same dude who infamously introduced the "Schlong Thong" AKA C-shape G-string (AKA swimwear's worst invention to date) to the world. But apparently, that sliver of fabric was not small enough. The tan lines were still one too many, so Norris reduced the Schlong Thong to a tiny silver-colored sack.
In addition to being a "swimwear designer," Norris, as I mentioned earlier, is a British reality TV star. It was during a recent shoot for his show The Only Way is Essex that this perpetually NSFW creature debuted his latest creation. I'm not 100 percent certain what the official product name is, but The Daily Star is calling it the "Bobby Ball Bag," which I think is the only way you can describe it (although Cosmopolitan's suggestion of "Bobby's cock sock" is a mighty fine alternative, if Norris is looking for names).
A few questions: 1. Is he for real? Like, what is that even?! Which leads me to my next question, 2. Does it actually do anything? Is it functional at all? What purpose does it serve besides the obvious. Is it even water resistant? Does it help keep "things" afloat? I NEED ANSWERS. And my last set of questions. 3. Does he plan on selling this IRL? And if so, who will be buying it? If you plan on purchasing a "Bobby Ball Bag," would you kindly tell me your reasoning on why you need it and where you're going to wear it, because I'm pretty sure that it'll be illegal to wear on most beaches in the United States.
I am kind of at a loss for words for what else can be said about this obscene, attention-seeking garment (if you can even call it that). But I think it's important that you all know what sorts of fashion "breakthroughs" are happening in this world. That all said, please forgive me. I promise to never share another "Bobby Ball Bag" photo with you. Ever again.
Image Credit: Brian Jackson/Fotolia
