What If Celebs Talked Exclusively Like Pirates?!

Yarrr! Terday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day ‘an we Pirates o’ the Black Bustle are here ‘ter tell ye that ye best talk like a pirate or it’s THE PLANK FOR THE WHOLE LOT ‘O YA! Now we pirates unnerstan’ that most of ye’s have no idear how ter talk like a pirate. ‘An that’s because your yellah bellies have ne’er battled a kraken, nor sailed the high seas, nor pillaged a village for it’s booty ‘an ale. Yes, us pirates rhyme. Better than yer Kanye Wests and Iggy Azaleas!

Now! Back ‘ter business. In order ter talk like a pirate, ye gots ter think like a pirate! If there’s somethin that ye want, ye take it! If someone wrongs ye, ye take vengeance on their guts ‘an spill ‘em all over the deck! But nay! None of yes would know how ‘ter even tink like a pirate because yer too busy reading the Twitters.

But we pirates are a savvy lot ‘an we gone ahead ‘an translated yer Miley Cyrus ‘an your Kim Kardashian in ter pirate speak! Maybe now ye’s can wrap yer tongues aroun’ the way us pirates announce our reckonings and decrees! Yar. Yar. YAR.

"Swabbin' the poop decks."

"Keepin' me eye out fer lassies 'an frocks from the crow's nest."

"The wench who bore me is the finest on the high seas!"

"Aye! All ye krakens! Go 'an tell the rest of the bloomin' deep sea that we captured the ghosts o' the Kings & Queens of the past 'an are gonna use it to unleash the most errible storm ye's have e'er seen!"

"Mates, we've got grog 'an ale below deck. Come 'an 'ave some beferr ye get scurrrrrrvy!"

"Aye, a picture from me childhood."

"Crikey."