The Gorgas Finally Get a Clue

Unless you've been living under a rock and/or your "job" or your "life" or your "intellectual persuits" have prevented you from following every move the Real Housewives of New Jersey make, then please: put down Infinite Jest for one minute so I can catch you up. Joe and Teresa Giudice have pleaded not guilty to 39 counts of fraud, charges which could land them in jail for up to 30 years, and their frenemies, Teresa's brother and sister-in-law, have claimed they'll be supportive no matter what, since family is family. But! They have a funny way of showing it. It turns out that Joe Gorga and Melissa Gorga are building their dream home in Franklin Lakes, N.J. while the Giudices face serious and life-altering prison time.

Evidently, they sold their Montville Township home for $3.8 million, which is sort of surprising given that episode that showed their bathroom falling apart, and the fake marble that was used on some of the fixtures, but Melissa's said for a while that she's wanted to move, and now, they're finally setting up shop about 15 miles north of their current location.

Now, listen. Any sane person would want to distance themselves from Teresa Giudice and that little, spherical thing with the spiky hair she calls a husband, but what about the Gorga's decree of support? At the very least, you'd think they'd stay in Montville near the Giudices to help the Giudice girls cope — with the days of their parents' freedom numbered, they need their aunt and uncle now, more than ever.

Melissa told Us Weekly:

I feel like this was meant to be. It happened just in time for the kids to start their first of day of school. It's going to be a lot of work designing and building the new home, but Joe is an incredible builder and I'm excited to go back to where we started our family.

Meant to be ... timing-wise? Just as the heat around Teresa gets hotter, the Gorgas get the shit out of Dodge. And as much as it may be in bad taste, you really can't blame them.