We Just Can't Handle This

Do you love dogs but have a deathly fear of spiders? Then you're about to feel very confused. A short film starring a dog dressed as a giant spider was posted to YouTube on Thursday, and it may be the weirdest thing we've ever seen. The four-minute horror flick features an otherwise adorable black dog wearing a nightmare-inducing tarantula costume, and it really does a number on our senses. We want to love the dog — dogs are cute! — but ... what is that thing on his back? The whole thing is deeply upsetting, but the video is still worth a watch.

The video was made by Polish filmmaker SA Wardega, who describes himself in his Facebook bio as "an ordinary man who wants to bring a bit of panache in this sad city." But ordinary is not how we would describe his movie — in fact, his official slogan, "Insane people are the best," is more appropriate.

Starring Chica the DogSpider, the film, unofficially titled "Mutant Giant Spider Dog," follows the creature on a killing rampage that claims several innocent people. Their mutilated bodies are shown chopped up and hanging from giant webs, but the audience never sees the dog-spider committing the gruesome murders. That's just as well because we refuse to believe that man's best friend could do such a thing.

Let's break this thing down. Prepare to be unsure about everything.

The video opens with a mutant that strikes an uncanny resemblance to Sloth from The Goonies.

He is apparently the dog-spider's owner and commands him to go (and kill)!

Dog-spider stalks his first prey from behind a bush...

But then suddenly pops out of this door!

Here he comes!

It's ... kinda cute? So. Confused. Right. Now.

Dog-spider's next victims are this pair of unsuspecting women.

Little do they know that behind the elevator doors, dog-spider is feasting on human flesh. (Although it really just looks like the dog is innocently sniffing and licking the guy.)

The girls run away screaming.

The body count starts to rise as more of dog-spider's victims are shown brutally slaughtered.

A couple make the gruesome discovery on their night stroll.

They try to run, but their fates have been sealed.

Uh-oh. A giant web on some stairs. Not a good sign.

That little dog-spider did this?

Maybe it's not so cute after all.

Some advice: Don't pet a dog that can gnaw a human leg off at the bone.

Another poor, unsuspecting man heads towards a deadly surprise.

"WHAT THE F**K."

He's coming!

Once dog-spider sees you, that's it. You're done.

The man tries to run in one direction and falls right into dog-spider's well-laid trap.

So he tries to run the other way, but we all know how this ends...

Dog-spider! He's a dog! He's a spider! And he's coming for you!

I don't think I'll ever get that creepy crawling sound effect out of my head. It will haunt me forever.

Watch the video below — if you dare.

Image: Chica the DogSpider/Facebook