Entertainment
17 Terrible Lyrics From '00s Pop Songs You Won't Believe You Sang Along To
Pop music might have had its golden hour in the early '00s, but while catchy hooks and thumping basses were having a moment, lyrics were not. Perhaps it was because pop music mastermind Max Martin was behind many of these songs, and lyrics are not particularly his forte (see Ariana Grande's nonsensical and grammatically incorrect "Break Free" for further proof). Yet his musical stylings were pretty influential because many great (and terrible) songs from the '00s share a similar style — catchy, but confusing, as in: "what the hell does this song mean, anyway?" And even some songs that permitted us to extract some sort of meaning had some pretty abysmal lyrical stylings. Let us fondly look back at some terrible lyrics from catchy songs — out of context —from the 2000s, with the knowledge that poetry ain't easy.
"Dear Diary," by Britney Spears
Dear Diary, today I saw a boy!/And I wonder if he noticed me/He looked the other way.
Why don’t we all just rip out pages from our teenaged diaries and call it music?
"Big Girls Don't Cry," by Fergie
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket.
Poetry, again. (It’s also grammatically incorrect.)
"No More (Baby I'ma Do Right" by 3LW
Hey boy, you promised me a Kate Spade, but that was last year, boy in the eighth grade.
Okay, fine — that’s serious stuff for middle school. But man, what’s this eighth grader doing buying Kate Spade handbags for his teenage girlfriends!
"Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne
He was a boy, she was a girl — does that make it anymore obvious?
No, it doesn’t, Avril. Please clarify.
H
"Candy" by Mandy Moore
I’m cravin’ for you, I’m missin’ you like candy.
…Thereby implying that she’s a sugar addict?
"So Yesterday" Hilary Duff
If the light is off, then it isn’t on.
"Aaron's Party (Come Get It)" by Aaron Carter
I turned around and another kid broke the lamp/I hope they weren’t expensive/They got them from France!
A hip hop pop opus about a party gone wrong is cheesy, at best.
"Invisible" by Clay Aiken
If I was invisible…then I could just watch you in your room.
"The Call" by Backstreet Boys
My battery is low, so you know, we’re going to a place nearby — gotta go!
Singing a lame excuse for not talking to a girl doesn’t make it any better.
"Space Cowboy" by *NSYNC
If you wanna fly, come and take a ride/Take a space ride with the cowboy, baby/ Yi-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-o!
I wonder if you can major in space cowboy-ing in college.
"Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani
A few times I’ve been around that track/So it’s not just gonna happen like that/Because I ain’t no hollaback girl, I ain’t no hollaback girl….Ooh, this is my shit.
Read that out loud like a dramatic monologue.
"I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday.
Perhaps this was the inspiration for Rebecca Black’s notorious days-of-the-week anthem, “Friday?”
"Pieces of Me," Ashlee Simpson
On a Monday, I am waiting/Tuesday, I am fading/And by Wednesday, I can’t sleep.
Ashlee can count the days of the week, just like the Black Eyed Peas!
"See You Again" by Miley Cyrus
The last time I freaked out/I just kept looking down.
Okay, it’s an adorable part of being an awkward tween with a crush on a guy, but out of context, it sure ain’t lyrical gold.
"Tipsy," by J-Kwon
1, here comes the 2 to the 3 to the 4, everybody drunk out on the dance floor!
J-Kwon has a point — it can be tough to count when you are inebriated. And lest we forget this lyrical gem:
Errbody in this club gettin’ tipsy!
"Blue" by Eiffel 65
"OMG" by Usher
Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow/Honey got some boobies like wow, oh, wow.
CRINGES OPENLY.
