Entertainment

Will the 'Full House' Revival Be Just Like This?

by Rachel Simon

I'll admit it: when I first heard that a Full House revival is in the works, my reaction was one of unadulterated glee. So what if nostalgia's not an actual reason to bring a 27-year-old show back in the air? Who cares if the intended audience for the revival probably has braces and seventh-grade homework? Say what you want, but there's There is nothing anyone can say to convince me that a new Full House isn't a fantastic idea.

Especially if the revival is anything like the flash-forward episode of the series that aired back in 1990. Placed in the middle of season 3, "Those Better Not Be the Days" followed Danny, Joey, and Jesse's collective daydream (just go with me here) of a world where the girls are all grown up, still living at home and acting just as obnoxiously as they did in their childhoods. It was a terrifying vision for the men, as well as for viewers; who really needed to hear a 25-year-old Michelle mispronouncing "ice" as "owse?" Now that the show's getting a revival, I'm starting to wonder — what if the new version of the show is just like season 3's flash-forward? Here's how it could go:

Everyone's Still Living at Home

I'd like to think that in the Full House revival, at least Joey would've moved out. It was weird enough that he and Jesse lived there in their thirties, but as middle-aged men? That'd be too strange, even for Full House. The only thing crazier would be if all three of the girls still lived there, too. Seriously, what twentysomething woman would voluntarily live with her parents, especially ones as annoying as Danny, Jesse, and Joey?

Yet in the show's flash-forward, every one of the Tanners was still living at home – including Comet. Will the revival feature all of them together in the house, or will they finally have living situations — if not lives — of their own? If they are together, this would mean that all of the daughters, including the Olsen twins, signed on to reprise their roles, so I wouldn't hold my breath.

Jesse's the World's Oldest Elvis Impersonator

Now this I can see happening. John Stamos, get your "Hound Dog" impressions ready.

The Decor is Still Very '80s

Even though the characters had all aged in the flash-forward, apparently the decor of their house hadn't. Everything, from the posters on the wall to the patterns on their shirts, were still perfectly '80s. I'd assume that the Full House revival will modernize that, but it would be hilarious if they left the George Michael photos and neon scrunchies right where they are.

Jesse's Hair Looks Like This

Thankfully, it's just a wig. But still — try to imagine John Stamos combing out his hair to look like that for the revival.

And Rebecca's Butt Looks Like This

A large portion of the episode was focused on the size of Old Rebecca's butt. And as frustrating as the body talk is to hear now, looking back, I can't really say I blame them.

Kimmy Gibbler Gets Gorgeous

And says creepy things to the men like, "eat your hearts out, boys. Too bad you weren't nicer to me when I was a kid." So if they'd been sweet to her when she was 12, she would've dated them now...? Gross, Gibbler.

Hopefully, if Andrea Barber reprises her role, she'll keep the dad-flirting to a minimum. As for the men? Let's hope they'll lay off the "gee, if only I'd flirted with Kimmy when she was a pre-teen" jokes, too. It was creepy enough to hear back in 1990; there's no need to bring it to the 2014, too.

Image: FullHouseReviewed.com; ABC Family (6)