Entertainment

The Pape's Best Quotes

by Kristie Rohwedder

Willow Pape. Oh, Willow Pape. (If you would be so kind, please imagine Heath Ledger's Joker muttering the following under his breath as he hijacks a semi truck): Willow, Willow, Willow Pape. The villain of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is a fame-obsessed, malicious, and unrelenting demon in a skirt. KK:H is lucky to call her its villain.

Patricia Hernandez of Kokatu dubbed The Pape the best game rival since Gary Oak from Pokémon, and I agree 240%. Ugh, freakin' Gary Oak. Every time that Poké-dweeb would interrupt my gameplay and demand a battle, my eyes would turn red and I would groan. NOT NOW, GARY, I would think. CAN'T YOU SEE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?

The Pape's timing is very Gary Oak-like (read: inconvenient). Whenever she accosts me just as I'm about to meet a potential collaborator at The Brew Palms or on my way to a fashion show, I groan.

NOT NOW, WILLOW. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?

I will say this much: Whenever The Pape rears her blonde head, you can count on her to utter something LOL-worthy. And hey, I like to laugh out loud.

The definitive ranking of Willow Pape's best digs

#11:

Gretchen Wieners couldn't make "fetch" happen, and you definitely can't make "fetch" happen, Pape. Sorry, Pape.

#10:

She was "Anon" all along and she DGAF.

#9:

Ehhh, not your harshest burn, Pape.

#8:

...Who are the "you guys" she's talking to?

#7:

Re: "did Kim mention me yet?": Same.

#6:

So very meta.

#5:

WHOA, did she just call me a bird?!?!?!?!

#4:

When the yellow exclamation point bubble is attached to The Pape, it shoves me to the very edge of my seat. What's she going to say this time?!?!?!

#3:

She'd been saving that one for a while. I can feel it.

#2:

"SO BLEGH!"

#1:

Speaking in hashtags. "Gutter trash." The only thing this diamond is missing is a mic drop.

Images: willow-pape/tumblr; silvermoon424/tumblr; hoebutmadefashion/tumblr; euphoricrevelation/tumblr; givemepearls/tumblr; kimkhollywoodposts /tumblr(2); number31/tumblr; bowsandberettas/tumblr