Cristiano Ronaldo, What the Eff Is This?

He may have been known for his skills on the field up until now, but from here on out may Cristiano Ronaldo be known as "That guy shilling wiggling face wings." May we never forget this moment. It must stand immortal. It's fitness, but for your face!

Celebrity endorsements aren't always on the up-and-up, but usually you at least have a solid idea what's being endorsed and why it exists. I do think I have a general idea of what Facial Fitness Pao is — face? exercise? — but the question is...why? Here's what I can gauge:

1. You put this in your face. Preferably your mouth?
2. It tries to fly away like it's a snitch and you're Harry Potter in his first Quidditch game.
3. ????????

The purpose of this seems to be to exercise your facial muscles, so I'm assuming the goal for the end result is some, like, reduced cheek fat or Benedict Cumberbatch cheekbones? I gotta tell you, I'm having a hell of a time picturing Benedict Cumberbatch using this.

America's got some strange commercials — don't get me started on that half-marionette, half-human family — so I'm not gonna make this too much about the fact that this commercial's Japanese. I will say, however, that Friends has been there, done that.

You really have to see it for yourself:

Joey Tribiani's endorsement:

Harry Potter's facial exercises:

Image: YouTube / MTG _CR