In a World Where Taylor Swift Wasn't So Nice...

On a day-to-day basis, what really goes through the head of everybody's favorite 85-year-old-grandma-trapped-in-the-body-of-a-24-year-old-pop-superstar Taylor Swift? If I had to guess, it probably involves figuring out the best way for her to personally dispense Werther’s candies from a wicker basket to strangers, and sitting by a roaring fire while knitting sweaters for a small, but growing, army of cats. It’s easy to imagine her on an old, creaking rocking chair, staring out at the sunset while sipping on a mint julep, typing up sage relationship wisdom to share with young fans on Instagram as she reminisces about “the good ol’ days,” when she had only spent a mere 15 years on Earth. Of course, Taylor Swift is a global phenomenon and makes 900 trillion gazillion dollars per lyric (approximately), so some of her day is probably dedicated to her, you know, “career” or whatever, but I digress.

In the real world, when she isn’t too busy sweetly serenading small, sick children, or giving random passersby enough money out of her purse to buy 12 burritos at Chipotle (without guac, sadly), Swift has made it her business to entertain the quaint, rural locale known as New York City with a never-ending parade of flawless outfits and candid appearances. For residents, her glowing, angelic midriff has become as standard and iconic as the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State building.

As usual, the kind, generous paparazzi are who we all have to thank for these blessed images. While Tay-Tay is typically game to flash her perfect, pearly whites for the cameras, smiling like the gift from the heavens she knows herself to be, sometimes I wonder — is there something else behind her eyes? Is that, dare I say, shade creeping out from beneath those lashes? Could Princess Taylor be harboring the dark, damning secret of being, I don't know... ANGRY sometimes?! Take a look at the evidence below.

1.

"Just trying to take a leisurely stroll through the -40 degree weather, guys. No big. Isn't there a Kardashian around you can bother?"

2.

"Like are they seriously trying to take my picture right now? Seriously guys? OMG wait is that a stray cat?!"

3.

"Oh look, my Pinkberry is almost gone, just like my privacy. What a coincidence."

4.

"You know, I came out here to have a good time in my mini-dress, and honestly I'm feeling so attacked right now."

5.

"It's my midriff. It's perfect. I'm perfect. Everything I touch turns to gold. We've gone over this."

6.

"Yes, peasants, this is what I look like after a work out."

7.

"I'm just tossing a little shade over my shoulder. Totes casual."

8.

"Oh. You guys are back. Nice camera, is it new? I'm joking. Go away."

9.

"Just know I'm laughing on the inside, because I'm rich. Like, SO rich. Suckaz."

10.

"Plebeians. Plebeians everywhere."

11.

"Just try to find a bad angle of me, I dare you. JK don't even bother. It's impossible."

12.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my swag."

13.

"I can't."

14.

"I'm smiling because I'm the only one who knows this jumpsuit is the same color as my soul."

15.

"Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Taylor Swift. I can't come to the phone right now because you just made me step in GARBAGE WATER. Your life is over. Bye."

Sources: Getty Images; Taylor Swift/Instagram