That Zankie Hook-Up Isn't Going to Happen, Guys

Let me start by saying that I really hope that I'm wrong on this. The eviction ceremony happens on Thursday and with Zach Rance sitting on the block next to Jocasta Odom, it's clear that he's the latest strong player being put up against a weaker player so the house guests can get him evicted. According to the live feeds, unless something huge happens on Wednesday that turns the opinion of the entire house around, then Zach is going to be unanimously voted out at the ceremony. Among the many consequences this tragedy is going to have, it means that Zankie is running out of time to hook up. And Frankie knows it, so he's pulling out all the stops to make this showmance offish.

It might seem awkward considering Zach identifies as straight, but there isn't a single person in the house at this point that doesn't believe that Zach is in love with Frankie. And, no, it's not just because Zach constantly declares that he's in love with Frankie. It's because Zach and Frankie are attached at the hip, Zach and Frankie are always handsy with each other, Zach and Frankie are always making wild declarations that are either (a) romantic (b) sexual or (c) both. In fact, "Dude, if we lived together. It’d be over. I’d be gay" is an actual quote that has come out of Zach's mouth.

However, when it comes time to put his money where his mouth is, that's when Zach reminds us that, at the end of the day, he is actually heterosexual. He can talk about experimenting with Frankie all day long — even to the point of making Cody stare at them in bewilderment — but he doesn't seem in any kind of rush to actually experiment with Frankie. If there's a line drawn in the sand of what is just a natural extension of Zankie's closeness and what is actually a legitimate boundary that Zach has, it appears to be anything that includes the serious possibility of having sex with Frankie.

Which, honestly, seems about right. Zach might be comfortable enough in his sexuality to openly admit that he's attracted to Frankie and even in love with him "without a doubt", but generally people who identify as straight don't have sex with people of their same gender. However, sexuality is a pretty broad spectrum and it's also entirely possible that Zach's reluctance to actually do anything definitive could be less because he's not as open to the idea as he seems and more because, well, they're in a house being watched 24/7 by cameras broadcasting their every move to the world.

Obviously Zach isn't weirded out by Frankie's attention as he outright encouraged Frankie to keep trying to "turn" him gay, but it's equally obvious that this is all more of a joke and/or deep bromance rather than a genuine showmance and that's okay. Zach and Frankie might not actually hook up, especially since Zach seems to be utterly convinced that he's not going home on Thursday and thus isn't viewing Wednesday as his Last Night and Last Chance, but hopefully the two of them will manage to remain friends outside of the Big Brother house.

Frankie might have betrayed Zach kind of a lot in the game, but once he's been evicted then Zach will probably understand that Frankie was just playing Big Brother and really did care about him. Frankie's even got a lot of famous friends, so clearly he's the kind of person who is social in and out of the house. Zach and Frankie's bond seems strong, so it would be a perfect end to their showmance for them to actually continue it outside of the show. Inside the Big Brother house, however, the chances of Zach and Frankie hooking up are pretty much zil. Don't stop believin', though, because I definitely won't.

Image: CBS; zankiegrance/Tumblr (2)