A Day In The Life of His Mistress

If you haven't watched the "Sorry Mrs. Carter" video yet, treat yourself to a few minutes of blissful schadenfreude and give it a view. Amidst the firestorm of news regarding the Jay Z and Beyonce divorce allegedly in the works, Jay Z's supposed mistress Liv has sent a message to Beyonce in the form of "Sorry Mrs Carter," a music video so low-budget, even Rebecca Black would cringe. In this writer's humble opinion, it's the kind of bad YouTube video that you can show at all your end-of-summer parties.

Liv has been connected to Jay in the tabloid media, which this aspiring lady rapper has taken and ran all the way off the edge of the Earth with. In the video, she confesses that she never actually slept with Jay, but she could basically tell that he always wanted to. After all, they connected on some "hip-hop shit", because she's a super interesting woman who does tons of stuff with her day. Nah, just kidding. Mostly, she just tries on different outfits and spins around in her bikini. While the video is clearly an attempt to throw shade, Liv comes off less like a flawless model chick who can steal your man, and more like someone who never leaves her house. A day in the life of Liv, I imagine, goes something like this...

Wake up, apply lip gloss

Practice the piano

Put your dress on, because you have a big day full of in-house errands ahead of you

Retrieve your issue of Life & Style from your mailbox, 'cause you might be in it.

You're FAMOUS!! THE INVASION HAS BEGUN!

Check yourself in the powder room for head lice

Sing to yourself in your apartment for several hours

Apply more lip gloss!

You really worked up a sweat with all that activity! Maybe you should take a relaxing dip in your hot tub

How'd it get dark all of a sudden... Wow, the day really flew! Pour yourself a glass of red wine in celebration of a fabulous day being your fabulous self

Think to self, "I look SO great in a bikini, right?"

Time for another glass of red wine!

Maybe just one more...

HAH, surfboard

Commence the invasion! Meh, maybe tomorrow... Really though

Watch this video now.

Images: Yeslivcan/Youtube (13)