You Can Now Play on Your Computer

Attention citizens of the guilty pleasure world, I have some news that will make your day simultaneously better and worse. The Kim Kardashian game is now available for computers. Basically, any hope you held of breaking your shameful affair with this time-wasting agent has been rendered pointless. Resistance is futile. PopGlam is interested in booking you for their latest shoot, so you better get your D-list ass over there. You don't wanna be the nobody who can't land a date with that acupuncturist forever do you? DO YOU?!

I didn't think so.

News of the game's move to computer broke on Kim Kardashian's Instagram account. On Monday, Kardashian posted the following photo, announcing that her game is available on the Mac App store. As a sometimes-proud, often-frustrated Mac user, I went on over to the App Store and saw that the news was indeed true. As the tagline says, you can now "join Kim Kardashian on a red carpet adventure" on your standalone machine. Just like the phone version, the computer game is free. Still, that doesn't mean that it isn't still virtually impossible to win without spending money. C'mon guys, the game is already in my pocket all the time by being on my phone. Does it really have to take my computer too?

This next step for the Kim game represents a serious commercial coup. With the phone version alone, she stood to make $200 million from the game's sales of Kardashian stars, energy refills, and fake money. Expanding to the computer only makes it easier for reluctant players to shirk their willpower and surrender their credit card information. Not only will this likely increase the game's profitability, it will make it almost totally impossible to break the habit of playing the game. I just have to keep telling myself: "My soul will feel better if I play Candy Crush instead."

Images: Kim Kardashian: Hollywood; Kim Kardashian/ Instagram