Ready For ManServants?

Contrary to what your senses are telling you, this is not a joke. Or an SNL parody. Or some bizarre dream. This is ManServants, a new San Francisco-based start-up offering a diverse range of customizable arm candy for hire. He'll be your cabana boy at the pool, your grill master at BBQs, a veritable super-man with equal aptitude for bartending, body-guarding, and butler-ing—basically "what women really want." The problem is... it's not.

At the basic level, ManServants are always expected to open doors, call clients "my lady," compliment her every quarter hour, and always hold her purse. But you can essentially "create" any man you want—picking his hair color, fashion style, even his name—for any reason you want. Yes, it's objectifying men, but the real issue is how this company perceives women.

Sure, it may look like a high-end escort service, but co-founder Dalal Khajah insists his company was "created to unleash your inner lady of leisure." Gone are the days of male strippers or banana hammocks in your face at bachelorette parties. Co-founders Khajah and Wai Lin wanted to offer women a less awkward experience, one where they can really enjoy themselves, reports Mashable.

“It’s kind of our dream to annihilate the male stripper industry," Khajah said to Mashable. "But, really, we just want to flip the script and provide another option.”

Just to reiterate: They don't strip. And they don't do sex—you know you were thinking it. According to ManServants' policy, as stated on its site:

A ManServant keeps his penis in his pants and out of the lady's face.

Beyond the physical, we don't all want obedient "yes" men catering to our every need and whim. The ridiculous video itself portrays women as stroller-walking, Vogue-reading, sun-bathing glamourati. Even the gay couple just stares adoringly at their man servant while he's shirtless and doing push-ups.

Is that all women and the LGBT community do? Where is the high-powered exec? The sports fan? The adventure seeker? Granted, ManServants' services also include the option to send a personal assistant to a "ladyfriend's cubicle" and a "sports announcer" to the ball game. But why a cubicle and not corner office with window? Who says I don't already understand how the game is played? If we're going to dream, let's dream a bit bigger.

ManServants has been testing in beta and is scheduled to launch this fall. Hopefully, by then, we'll see the diverse landscape of what women really, truly want. That and a better video.

Images: ManServants/YouTube (7)