They've Been Married for Ages

Recently, Kourtney Kardashian donned a long, white dress, and you know what that means, right? She's but a stone's throw away from being a bride. Well, that's what it means if you're the Daily Mail. If you're a regular person, it just means she wore a summery maxi, nothing more, nothing less. Anyway! You're probably wondering where I'm going with this, right?

Well, like most things I come across on highly-exaggerated, sensational celebrity websites, the Mail's post on Kourtney got me thinking: what if Kourtney and Scott did get married? There's clearly a camp of people who are very against this idea, being that Scott doesn't exactly have an exemplary track record. But me? I couldn't care less. Because they're already married, people.

Kourtney and Scott may not have a piece of paper or rings snuggly placed on their fingers, verifying that vows have been exchanged, but for all intents and purposes, they're an old married couple and have been for a very long time now. They may both be in their 30s still, but judging by their relationship, they appear to have been married for about 40 years now or so.

Don't believe me? Here, I've got proof.

Instead of doing it in bed, they eat.

Classic old married couple move. After the kids are safely tucked in, they slip into something more comfortable, crawl into the ol' boudoir, and crack open a fresh pack of salty snacks and go to town with the TV on. You tell me: people who aren't even yet engaged or couple celebrating their "Ruby" anniversary? (Also, if you're wondering if I had to Google "40th anniversary gift," you're right.)

They're well past the "overlooking the other person's idiosyncrasies" phase.

When you first get together with someone, they're nothing but awesome. The fact that they chew louder than a jackhammer and never, ever empty the drain in the kitchen sink when food is in there doesn't phase you. You're blinded by love. But as time goes on, these things start to wear on you (just as your things start to wear on your partner). Kourtney and Scott (mainly Kourtney) are clearly at this point in their relationship, which typically occurs during marriage, as opposed to dating. They're so married!

They know the kinds of compliments each other like.

Telling any ol' person they look like a Colombian drug lord's wife? Not necessarily a compliment. But Scott knows the right buttons to push for his lady — an art only perfected with time.

They're kind of adorable parents.

Okay, so Scott may not be up for Father of the Year as far as the general public is concerned, but he and Kourt sometimes do make for pretty cute parents together. I mean, look at that photo. Look at that photo!

They may not always show it, but they love each other.

When you've been married as long as Kourtney and Scott have, you sometimes forget to romance each other and tell your partner how much he or she means to you. But at the end of the day, you're still in love. Even if you say it with a smack across the face.

Images: Rebloggy (4); Keeping Up With Kylie and Kendall/Tumblr