Watch Rob Lowe Frolic With Sharks & Mermaids

I don't know why this exists. I don't know who thought it up, why its star agreed to be in it, or what's even going on. All I know is that this Rob Lowe "Shark Week" ad on EW is the best thing I've ever seen, and I plan to watch it over and over again on a running loop for the rest of eternity.

Some background before you watch, because believe me, it is necessary: yes, this is the same Rob Lowe as the guy from Parks & Rec or '80s Brat Pack movies, depending on your age. He is not in any Shark Week specials, and does not have any plans of appearing on Discovery shows in the near future. As far as I know, there is no real reason for him starring in this ad, besides any money he may have received or any delight he took in its production.

Now, for the ad: let's take it down scene by scene. First, there's the opening shot, of a beautiful, peaceful ocean, with birds flying by and boats skimming the water.

Suddenly, Rob Lowe appears! He is wearing a tank top and some complicated, belt-like contraption. He is hot.

Rob Lowe looks both confused and determined, which makes sense, since the next thing he does is...

Throw a bunch of bloody meat in the air. Or maybe it's fish? It kind of looks like rose petals to me, but that's probably wrong, since they wouldn't be eaten by...

SHARKS! This ad is starting to make sense — it is for something related to marine life, and not Rob Lowe's muscles. Although I'm very confused about this random girl's appearance; where did she come from? Was she just sitting beneath Rob Lowe this whole time, right next to the bucket of "chum?" That seems unappealing.

Mystery girl does not look happy, which is very understandable, considering the sharks flying above her head. Soon, though, she gets much more excited, because now she is holding onto Rob Lowe's leg, and it also appears that she is a mermaid. She is very lucky.

But what is this ad actually for, I ask myself? A new TV show about the friendships between former Pawnee-ins and mermaids? The return of Rob Lowe's modeling career? A new Sea World attraction soon open to the public (please say yes)? Suddenly, it all becomes clear.

Ah. Or that. The ad begins to wrap up, but not before I got to capture this screengrab of Rob Lowe saying "so sharky." I don't know what this means.

And that, my friends, is the end of the incredible, unexplainable Rob Lowe ad for Shark Week. I do not know where it came from, why it is here, or if "so sharky" is about to be the new "that's hot." All I know is that it it exists, and for that, I am grateful.

Images: Discovery (9)