Entertainment

One 'Mean Girls' Fan Smells Like a Baby Prostitute

by Sam Rullo

There's about to be a contest of Spring Fling Queen importance, and I plan on taking home that shiny, plastic tiara. You may have seen the admittedly impressive video of a Next Movie intern reciting all of Mean Girls in 30 minutes. If not, you should watch it, it's so fetch. Christopher Rosa is clearly a huge Mean Girls fan and an excellent fast talker, two things we have in common. That, and a penchant for wearing pink (especially on Wednesdays). Even though Rosa talks a little too fast to really fact-check him against the movie, I think he's grool enough to call it accurate. But does that make him the biggest Mean Girls fan? Please, he doesn't even go here.

Sure, he can recite Mean Girls in 30 minutes, but what about the other 23 and a half hours of the day? Some of us try to incorporate Mean Girls into our lives every single day. Some of us live by the rules of feminism 24/7, ex-boyfriends are off limits, there's no judgement on Halloween, and when a friend is on an all-carb diet, you just do not go to Taco Bell.

Good job on the video there, Rosa, but what else? Do you have a copy of the script of Mean Girls, bought from a Manhattan street vendor? I do. Did you ever do a class project where you and your friends reenacted 20 minutes worth of Mean Girls in Italian? I was Gretchen. Do you have both the original and ABC Family bleeped versions of the movie memorized? Because this witch does.

Congrats on the video, Chris, and even if this makes you want to punch me in the face, I'm sure it'd be awesome. I'm just saying, don't let get to your head too much, we don't need another Kevin G. on our hands. When it to comes the amount of Mean Girls fans out there, and how much we all worship the movie, the limit does not exist.