Leo Kicked It On A Yacht... Literally

Like Leonardo DiCaprio is wont to do, the actor hung out on a yacht in Saint-Tropez on Tuesday. And though "Leo DiCaprio was on a yacht" is about as surprising a sentence as "Miley Cyrus posted a new pic on Instagram," this particular Leo D. yacht trip is not just any Leo D. yacht trip. Scroll through the pics and you'll see DiCaprio lounging in a towel, DiCaprio laughing with his pals, and DiCaprio breaking out a high kick while wearing jeans. Hold up, what's that last one? DiCaprio kicked while kicking it on a fancy-ass boat. While wearing jeans.

I stared at the series of photographs for a good 10 minutes. "It appears as though he's doing karate for kicks and giggles," I said to the bowl of grapes sitting on my desk. I waited for the grapes to acknowledge my awesome pun. The grapes remained silent. "He probably just had a sudden and random urge to kick the sky. We've all been there. That's probably the answer."

I stared another 10 minutes, and my mind began to race. "Did I jump to a conclusion? Is that too obvious an answer?" I asked the grapes. I took their silence to mean they were disappointed in me for jumping to a conclusion.

I didn't want to let the bowl of grapes down. So, I considered other potential explanations:

• He was demonstrating the stretchiness of the denim.
• He was doing an impression of Raphael practicing his martial arts on a rooftop moments before the Foot Clan attacks.
• He was forcing his buddies to look at a nasty hangnail.
• He was attempting to shake his asleep foot awake.
• He was testing out the durability of the hair tie that secured his manbun.
• He was swatting a fly with his foot.
• He was flinging a piece of seaweed off of the yacht.
• He was working out some new dance moves for Coachella 2015.
• He was rehearsing for a top-secret role (one guess: adult DiCaprio as Daniel the teen in a remake of The Karate Kid).

I'm all about the Coachella dance moves hypothesis. Let us pray that DiCaprio high kicks all over the Empire Polo Fields next spring. And let us also pray that someone catches it on camera.