Their Wedding Reception Will Make You Jealous

As you may have heard, Maroon 5's Adam Levine and model Behati Prinsloo got married on Saturday. Originally, this wedding sounded totally uninteresting to me because I'm not a Maroon 5 fan (or a Victoria's Secret Angels fan, for that matter), I am in no way invested their relationship, and Levine is know to give off some douche vibes — it's cool, he knows it. Point is, I wasn't sitting at home this weekend going, "You know where I wish I was? The Levine-Prinsloo wedding." But now that reports of Levine and Prinsloo's wedding reception have come out. That's all changed.

My name is Lia Beck and I wish that I had attended the Levine-Prinsloo wedding.

My jealousy started off slowly. First, I heard that the wedding took place in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. "Well... it's a celebrity wedding," I thought. "Tons of celebrity weddings take place in Mexico. NBD." (Yeah, I use abbrevs in my thoughts. STFU.) The fact that it was in Cabo, specifically, stung a little though. That's where the gang always vacationed on Laguna Beach! I can see the glorious sunsets now.

Next, I heard that Jonah Hill officiated. It sounds like just an extremely random choice, but it was further evidence that this wedding wasn't your average destination celebrity wedding.

Then came the reports of the reception and this is when I realized that, yes, I was actively jealous of the attendees of Adam Levine's wedding. Here's why:

• Stevie Nicks, Sublime, and Maroon 5 performed. It's not about the particular performers so much as the fact that there were legit performers at all. I guarantee you I will never go to a wedding that has more that a DJ or, worse, a shitty live band.

• According to a guest who spoke with People magazine, "This was a dancing crowd. Everyone was dancing late into the night." Hear that? This wasn't a sit-around-and-wonder-why-the-air-conditioner-is-up-so-high crowd, this was a dancing crowd. I've watched enough episodes of Four Weddings to know that this is crucial.

• Prinsloo sang "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes. Karaoke! Fun! An excuse to drunkenly shout, "Hey! It's that song from that commercial!"

• The decor was described thusly, "At the reception, said to be designed and coordinated by wedding planners Yifat Oren and Stefanie Cove, guests sat at large circular tables around big mango trees. Long garlands of flowers provided by Arete Florals and tiny white lights that looked like fireflies hung from the trees." Mango trees, y'all!

• Food included, "organic pork chops, fresh fish and beet salads, and later, for dessert, [guests] indulged in alcohol-flavored paletas (Mexican popsicles) and treats from an organic ice cream cart." A source added, "Most people finished eating in under an hour and were ready to party." Sounds great, not fussy, and not at all like it would taste like airplane food.

Doesn't this all seem awesome? Who cares if you like Levine and Prinsloo or not, this would just have been a good time. And I almost forgot the most important part: going to this wedding would mean that the next day you'd wake up and still be in paradise! Ah, well, one can dream. (And one can also have a new outlook on life after realizing that it's possible to be jealous of even the least expected people.)

Images: Getty Images (3)