It's the final season of HBO's True Blood. That's a sad fact, but I know it, you know it, and the writers definitely know it. They've gone all-out for these final ten episodes, killing off major characters (so long, Tara and Alcide!) and hooking up others (hey there, Eric and Jason!) with wild abandon. But we've still got quite a long bucket list of things we need to see happen before the campy vampire drama meets the True Death. And at the top of that list is another Jason and Jessica hookup.
It's funny. A lot of shows get worse when the writers decide to focus on love triangles at the expense of plot or actual character development. But when you think about it, True Blood is the exact opposite. The show was at its best when it was focused on the triangles, like Sookie/Bill/Eric and Jessica/Jason/Hoyt. Remember the sizzling will-they-won't-they tension between the redheaded baby vamp and Bon Temp's dumbest piece of man-candy back in Season 4? It felt so wrong because Hoyt was Jason's best friend, but it felt so right because — well — what's more exciting than forbidden love?
Sadly, later seasons have chosen to focus on decidedly unsexy plots like the Authority and Hep-V. Who thought besuited bureaucrats and unsightly blood diseases were what the True Blood audience was clamoring for? So as an apology for making us sit through Billith and that godforsaken Ifrit, we demand one final Jason and Jessica sex scene.
In case you've forgotten, these two characters are perfect together:
She's gorgeous.
I mean, damn.
He's gorgeous.
Nope. Definitely not resisting.
They have really great sex.
Whether it's dream-sex or real-sex.
But they know how to have fun, too.
And Guitar Hero isn't the only game these two like to play:
They also like a little role-play.
Remember when she dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood and came knocking on the Big Bad Wolf's door? Yeah, me too.
They're not afraid to do it outside.
We all know the best sex is outdoor sex.
Nobody cares about Violet or James.
Exactly, Jason Bateman. I mean, the producers can't even be bothered to decide on an actor to play Jessica's boyfriend, so why should we care if she cheats on him? James is probably gonna hook up with Lafayette anyway, so it's just quid pro quo.
And they're both gorgeous.
Oh, did I mention that already? My bad. Enjoy the gratuitous GIF anyway. You're welcome.
Images: HBO; Giphy (4); PerezHilton; kkchristine, kezzoh/tumblr; buzzsugar
