Entertainment

All the Celebrities Who Are Part of the Illuminati

by Kaitlin Reilly

July 16, 2014

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Are you in the market for a new conspiracy theory? If so, I have one that will make you analyze every album cover, music video, basketball game, and tabloid photo for years to come. It's the theory of the Illuminati, and it's about to blow your mind...if, I don't know, your mind is really gullible and easily convinced of ridiculous notions.

You've probably heard the term "Illuminati" thrown around by YouTube commenters and possibly a senile relative, but you might not know what, exactly it is. Here's the deal: The Illuminati is an organization of powerful, wealthy Satanists who control culture, religion, politics, and, apparently, all of our Top 40 hits. Their ultimate goal is to create a New World Order, or one gigantic world government for...reasons. It's unclear.

And it seems that all of our favorite pop culture stars are in cahoots with this whole Illuminati thing. Did you know that Blue Ivy's name actually stands for Born Living Under Evil, Illuminati's Very Youngest? Given this logic, Beyoncé and Jay Z's baby is more powerful than us all. (But then again, I think we already kind of knew that.)

Pop culture figures aren't even trying to hide their Illuminati affiliation. In fact, they're flashing it in front of our faces, and we're too blind to notice. How? By using symbols that are SO VERY ILLUMINATI. Triangles? Illuminati. Hand covering one eye? You better bet that's the Illuminati. Awkward "supposed to be hand glasses" pose? Hell yeah. Illuminati. Here are the celebrities we all need to be more careful of... Start your fan Twitter accounts before this New World Order kicks into gear.