Chris Doesn't Stand a Chance

Andi's heart is not in Chris Soules' Bachelorette future, no matter how badly the Iowa farmer wants it to be. Now, don't get me wrong, there isn't anything wrong with Chris. He's a good-looking enough guy who appreciates romance (he was Andi's secret admirer after all), he makes Andi laugh, and it's obvious he really cares about her. But there's no chemistry there between them. I can't be the only one who's surprised he actually lasted this long in the competition. He's the Cody of the final three. He's been sort of strung along for quite a while now but it's time for him to face the music and head on home.

If it was up to me, my final four would have been Josh Murray, Eric Hill, Tasos Hernandez, and Nick Viall. Chris probably would've been sent home during the season premiere in my ideal world.

And that's because he's sort of like the human equivalent of Vitamin C's "Friends Forever." You know that song that plays at every graduation, high school dance, and perpetually stayed on repeat throughout the nineties? "As we go on, we remember, all the times we spent together. And as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be, friends forever." It's an okay song, and you'll listen to it every once and awhile to give yourself a sense of nostalgia about times passed, but thank goodness you never got that tattoo of the lyrics on your lower back like you said you were going to. Chris is sort of like that. He's a nice guy and all, with a nice family, and he's really sweet, but come on. He's your FRIEND.

At this point in the game, it's make or break time. Chris has got to look in the mirror and realize he's had a good run but the competition is between Josh and Nick now. If you really think about it, it sort of always has been. Let's think logically about the final three.

Josh Murray

Josh is the obvious favorite to win, unless you're watching an entirely different show or have no understanding of how The Bachelorette works. He's smart, educated, tall, devastatingly handsome, and has a great smile. He's definitely Andi's type, a fact she has stated about 40 times since the season premiere, and she's dated guys like him before. Josh pretty much has this thing in the bag.

Nick Viall

He did get the first impression rose, which usually is fairly telling. He's a suave guy who really understands the nature of this competition, he's got Andi wrapped around his finger (or so he thinks), and he knows how to play the villain role but come off as the victim. Nick will be the only ounce of competition for Josh when it comes to the final days.

Chris Soules

Chris, in my opinion, was very similar to Marquel and Cody. They were kept as long as they were purely to maintain the number of guys, but after awhile, slowly began to be picked off. There's only one thing that crosses my mind when I see Chris on screen: A farm with Chris sitting in a tractor, alone. Sure, Chris will find his love one day, but you can bet Andi isn't quitting her career to become a housewife in a town with only 800 people — as Chris suggested during their hometown date. She's essentially kissed more guys this season than the amount of people who live in Chris' town.

Spoilers for The Bachelorette to follow. (And some serious predictions from Jimmy Kimmel.)

Jimmy Kimmel is on board with Josh too — he's even got his money on Andi being engaged to the guy. And of course, Reality Steve has been running Josh as the rumored winner since Day One. But we'll have to wait until the end of the season to see if the predictions are true. Will Andi Dorfman become Andi M or Andi V? I'm leaning (with Kimmel) towards Andi M.

Images: ABC (5)