'Vanderpump Rules' Was Snubbed

The 2014 Emmy nominations are out and I have a bit of a bone to pick. Sure, there are high five-worthy noms. Credit where credit is due. For example, I yelped out of joy when I saw how my boo Fargo fared. As Lorne Malvo would say, it's aces. But after I combed through the scripted shows, I took a deep breath and scrolled to the category that means the most to me: Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program.

The nominees: Alaska: The Last Frontier, Deadliest Catch, Flipping Out, Million Dollar Listing New York, Wahlburgers, and Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan.

Oh. I only watch two out of the six (I’ll let you guess which two), and wow. I feel so out of the loop. As much reality television as I put in my eyes on a daily basis, it isn't enough. There is so much more reality TV to be had.

Given that I'm not familiar with most of the aforementioned shows, I won't say whether or not those programs deserve their noms. That'd be unfair. But I will say the nominee list is missing a very important show. A show that could very well be the greatest reality program in recent memory. Why on Giggy's green earth isn't Vanderpump Rules a contender?!?! I don't understand.

Okay, I sort of understand: Bravo didn't submit it for the Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program category (Bravo did submit it for Outstanding Cinematography for Reality Programming and Outstanding Picture Editing for Reality Programming. Sadly, it didn't nab a nom in either category), but I don't care. The academy should've taken matters into its own hands and nominated Vanderpump Rules anyway. It's just that good. The snubbery of it all!

Not convinced? Allow me to present you with 10 reasons Vanderpump Rules deserves to be showered with awards:

The ensemble

The main cast is phenomenal. There is the incomparable Stassi Schroeder (more on her in a moment), menace/model Jax Taylor, the BFF duo Kristen Doute and Katie Maloney, the betrayed Tom Sandoval, pop star/journalist Scheana Marie, and boss Lisa Vanderpump. And they've all known each other for forever. You can't beat the chemistry of a cast comprised of longtime friends/coworkers/significant others.

Oh wait, yes you can: Make it a cast of hottie model/actor types who all happen to be longtime friends/coworkers/significant others who all work at a Beverly Hills Housewife's restaurant. It's a goddamned powder keg. And yes, there's many an explosion.

But the supporting players truly round out this already amazing lineup. Special shoutout to Manager Peter Madrigal:

Stassi Schroeder

I could—and have—write about why Stassi is so terrific until the cows come home. Instead, I'll leave you with this:

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Stuff Happens

This isn't a "uh, [Person A] and [Person B] talked about [Person C], and that was the most thrilling part of the episode" show. This is a "I need 20 minutes to recuperate after that ep because [Person A] just asked [Person B] to give every gory detail from [Person B]'s hookup with [Person C]/[Person A's S.O.], and [Person B] obliged. And then [Person A] attacked [Person B] at a fabulous party" show.

Every episode is like that. It's overwhelming/amazing.

The Dialogue

Some of the words uttered on this program make my hair stand on end and then curl itself into ringlets. Once again, I doff my cap to this unparalleled cast.

The Rewatchability Factor

Vanderpump Rules is an incredibly rewatchable show. It never loses its punch. If anything, it kicks up the punch level with every viewing. And I would know, for I've watched every episode at least twice.

THE REUNION

The enormously entertaining two-part reunion had it all: tears, laughs, reveals, fights, dancing, and more tears. Who cried the most? That would be me. While many reunions have me yelling "let it go already!" and "are you seriously hitting us with printed out emails right now?!" at the TV screen, Vanderpump Rules never faltered. If there was an Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program Reunion category, Vanderpump Rules and Shahs of Sunset would be the shoe-ins.

This scene:

And this scene:

And this scene:

AND HOLY CANNOLI THIS SCENE:

ALL OF THE SCENES!

Sigh. There's always next year.

Image: Bravo