This Male Beachwear Trend's Insanely Gross

Men don't have many options for beachwear. Board shorts with a tropical flower pattern, Speedos for those who want to show off their junk. And...well, that's pretty much everything, unless you want to get really adventurous. Previously, the asymmetrical thong swimsuit was considered the worst thing to happen to men's swimwear, but a new trend has swept in to steal that particular crown. The hairy mankini has officially arrived. To get the look, one must simply shave his chest hair in the shape of a bikini top. I know, I can't get the image out of my mind either.

Men are hitting the beach sporting hairy mankinis and uploading photos to the Internet for the world to see. Look, I am sure this is all in good fun. I'm sure these men didn't mean to sear the picture of their pasty white, patchily hairy chests onto my eyelids for eternity. But there are some things you cannot unsee. This is one of them.

Before I show you a photo of the hairy mankini, please understand that you will never be able to forget what it looks like. If you like your life as is and want to continue being attracted to shirtless men, do not scroll down. But for the curious types, here's an excellent example:

I'm almost more disturbed by the woman wielding an electric razor who is enabling this horrifying mankini to see the light of day. But whatever, I suppose we can let the dudes have their fun. They don't have much to work with in the fashion department, and with great boredom comes, um, great innovation. Necessity is the mother of invention, after all.