Shannon & David Name Their Least Fave Housewife

Vicki Gunvalson just wants to whoop it up at Andale’s at least once a year. That’s it. Is that really so much to ask? Shannon Beador doesn't think so. During Monday night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon rises to the whoop it up occasion. She takes tequila shots, she laughs, and she dances on the bar. She does what Heather Dubrow would never do. And either way is okay. Whether you whoop it up or not is your prerogative. But Shannon’s commitment to whooping it up truly warms Vicki’s heart. Whooping it up can forge a friendship faster than any friendship bracelet can.

But who is the true Puerto Vallarta MVP? Shannon is a close contender, but the award belongs to Brooks Ayers. Yes, Brooks. That Brooks. Stay with me: During a vaycay dinner, Brooks asks Shannon and David Beador to name their favorite couple and their least favorite couple. (He never explicitly says it, but all of us assume he means out of the OC Housewives, not the entire planet.) Um, I love this. I love this move so much.

He doesn't want to waste precious dinner time. He wants to dig right in. Why patiently and cautiously poke the fire when you can dump a bucket of firecrackers into the pit? The explosion will be a THRILL. There will be collateral damage, but the moment will be such a fantastic rush.

Brooks asserts he and Vicki are obviously Shannon and David's favorite couple, so they can skip right to the fun part: the shittalk. Who do Shannon and David like the least?

Lizzie and Christian Rovsek? No way. Lizzie's ruffled a few feathers, but she manages to get along with everyone on some level. Heather and Terry Dubrow? Surprisingly, no.

David names Tamra and Eddie Judge. Ah, right. The email snafu is very fresh. Fresher than Heather ordering Shannon to leave her house. Then, the table talks mad shit about Tamra. All Tamra-related grievances are aired. The general consensus: you can’t trust Tamra. EESH.

And then, the scene ends. I guess everyone agrees their least favorite couple is Tamra and Eddie, and they decide to leave it at that. Well, that’s how the scene was edited at least.

Oh. Okay then. Here I thought the shittalk floodgates had been hurled open and that meant we were going to watch the table drunkenly lay into every Housewife and significant other not sitting with them at that very moment. An across the board shittalk sesh. You know, like people do when once the shittalk ball gets rolling. Instead, they just pile on Tamra. EESH EESH EESH.

It's probably for the best they stopped when they did. Talking shit isn’t nice. It can be very funny and fun, but it isn’t nice. Ugh, I just read those last few sentences out loud and now I feel like a monster.

Anyway, spectacular effort, Brooks. It didn't go the direction I'd hoped for, but I appreciate the intent. This sort of thing is one of the many reasons why I watch reality TV.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm mentally prepping for next week. Why? CHAIRGATE EXPLOSION. CHAIRGATE EXPLOSION. CHAIRGATE EXPLOSION.

Image: Bravo