His Wedding Will Give You Extreme FOMO

If you could’ve attended any celebrity happening on Fourth of July Weekend, it would’ve been Taylor Swift’s fantasy friend bash, right? Well, think again. John Mulaney got married on Saturday and completely usurped Swiftie’s status as July’s most enviable party thrower. The stand-up, SNL writer, and Mulaney creator wedded makeup artist Annamarie Tendler on July 5 in a Catskill ceremony that was likely the stuff of Pinterest wet dreams. Sorry, Swiftie. We’re gonna have to give the award to Mulaney for “party I’m super disappointed that I didn’t get invited to this weekend.” Jessica Simpson’s wedding gets honorable mention.

Sure, attending a wedding over a celebration of youth and freedom may sound like a one-way ticket to lame town. But this was no ordinary wedding. It was a dream comedy wedding between two adorable humans. The Tendler-Mulaney wedding is basically the kind of event that makes me wanna hang up my cynical spurs and celebrate true love and happiness. I mean, check out their amazingly cute and hilarious wedding invite. How could you not want to be their token single friend?

However, for those of you who are not entirely convinced, we’ve broken down all the elements of the Tendler-Mulaney wedding as compared to Taylor Swift’s weekend-long party. Prepare yourself for the FOMO fallout.

Celeb Guests

According to Page Six, some of the most notable guests at Mulaney's nuptials included Amy Poehler and fellow comedian/boyfriend Nick Kroll, Seth Myers, and Nasim Pedrad. Just imagine the banter at your table. Furthermore, we know that Bill Hader, with whom Mulaney co-created Stephan,* was in attendance and pulled the kind of endearing shenanigans you'd expect at a funny person wedding. Jesse Pafundi, the couple's wedding photographer, tweeted the following:

Taylor Swift’s guest list was tempting: Emma Stone, Lena Dunham, Jessica Szohr and Jamie King would have been interesting to play a round of “Never Have I Ever” with. Still, dancing the cha-cha slide with Amy Poehler wins hands down.

Attire

On the Tendler-Mulaney wedding website — Oh yeah, that exists. Please, feast your eyes — the attire is listed as “glamorous.” We also got a glimpse of Tendler’s gorgeous wedding dress in an Instagram pic posted on July 5. It’s a gauzy vision of ethereal perfection.

Swift’s bash was casual. Guests wore bathing suits and beach gear. Just saying, professionally fit people in bikinis is something I would rather not spend my weekend around. I’d much rather be fancy.

Venue

The happy couple tied the knot at Onteora Mountain House in Boiceville, New York. Check out the view from the landing of this Catskill lodge. It's worthy of a swoon or two.

Swift’s estate in Rhode Island is certainly nothing to shake a stick at. I also must confess, the cat company looks delightful.

Food

Few culinary experiences top a great wedding cocktail hour. The truly exemplary spreads are like heavenly cafeterias of prime rib, crab cakes, pasta salad, and booze! Who doesn’t love that? Like an expert stalker, I checked out the cocktail hour options at Mulaney's reception spot. Offerings include: mac n’cheese pops, citrus poached jumbo shrimp, Bloody Marys, crab cakes, and mini ham and cheese sandwiches. I’d Ron Swanson that spread.

Swift made apple pie with a heart embossed into the crust, and baked an American flag cake that she really wanted Ina Garten to know about. I love sweets, but one cannot live on pictures of adorable baked goods alone.

I mean, she had a lot of friends over. Is this cake even big enough for everyone in the family portrait?

So, while Swift's bash is a worthy contender, John Mulaney’s wedding wins hands-down as the FOMO event of Fourth of July weekend. But overall, we can all easily agree that famous people can’t help themselves. Their lives are dope, they do dope shit, and they have fun parties.

Images: Taylor Swift/Instagram; John Mulaney/Instagram; Merloments/Instagram; Giphy