Zero Problems With This Version of "Problem"

Whew, Wednesday night's Ariana Grande-hosted Total Request Live one-off was an event and a half, wasn’t it? I mean, hello. Ariana Grande dropped "Break Free" in our laps, batted her flawless lashes, and smiled while the Internet imploded. She knew exactly what she did. UGH WHAT A BANGER OF A SONG. Do you know what else she did? Performed her hit jam "Problem," duh.

The Total Ariana Live "Problem" wasn't the poppy, upbeat "Problem" we know and adore, however. Iggy Azalea didn't show up and stomp it out and deliver her verse. Big Sean didn't whisper his way onto the stage. Grande didn't do the Sexy Sloppy Swish during the chorus. Instead, Grande parked herself next to a piano and sang a much slower, jazzier rendition. And she crushed the song into smithereens and used our dropped jaws as dustpans. It was beeeeeautiful.

Don't get it twisted: I am obsessed with the original version of “Problem” and have been since I first put it into my ears and I wouldn’t change anything about it. BUT! The pared-down “Problem” was gorgeous, gorgeous, and gorgeous. Accompanied by only a piano, Grande showed off the dynamic force of nature that is her voice. Let us bask in the glory of Grande.

Here are 17 moments that almost make me wish “Problem” was a chill jazzy tune... ALMOST:

0:10 I'm not one to get mad at a pre-first verse riff.

0:17 Let us truly appreciate the “you-oo-oo”s.

0:23 Do you hear that? That's her voice doing backflips!

0:29 THE BELTING. CAN'T BREATHE.

0:30 AND IN A SPLIT SECOND, SHE BRINGS IT BACK DOWN. WILL SOMEONE BRING ME AN OXYGEN TANK?

0:40 Oh, I see you! Subverting expectation.

0:49 Seriously, what is her range?

0:52 I do miss Big Sean, but her take on the chorus is so, so good.

1:05 Yes, please and thank you.

1:18-1:22 All of this. All of this on repeat.

1:40 AUGHHHHH YES [Throws arms out like an airplane and zooms around the room]

1:48-1:58 [Curls up into ball]

2:05 HNNNNNGH.

2:16-2:20 Oh, cool. More backflips. As if I wasn't already a freakin' mess.

2:52 She comes in too early but because she's Ariana Grande, it's still perfect.

2:51 BELT IT BELT IT BELT IT.

3:05 [Curls up into a ball again] Just... go on without me. I'm going to be here a while.