Guess What He Did In The Shower?

Well, well, well. It's only week two of Big Brother 16 and a houseguest already got his tug on for the world to see. Give Zach Rance a hand! Oh wait. Dammit. I didn’t mean it like th— JUST KIDDING. Of course I meant it like that. Tuesday, the BB live feed aired Zach whacking his cares away in the shower. (Or maybe he was just working out a charley horse in his leg? You know, like so many folks do in the shower.)

Zach is not the first BB contestant to get caught jerk-handed by the pesky live feed: As Jezebel's Tracie Egan Morrissey notes, Season 12 runner-up Lane Elenburg took matters into his own palm in the shower, and Season 15 second runner-up Spencer Clawson got his yank on under the covers. And thanks to the Internet, both moments live on forever.

My two main takeaways:

1. Masturbating in the BB shower seems significantly less difficult than masturbating in a BB bed.
2. BB houseguests of seasons past caught masturbating did well in the competition.

Let's mull over that second one for a moment: Could there be a correlation?! I will go ahead and assume there's a correlation. If the BB camera spots you boppin' your bits, then you will have BB success. Boom. A good omen of sorts.

I believe in you, Zach. I believe you will go far in the competition. I believe you will win the show for the BB masturbators before you. Carry that torch. (Oh god that sounds dirty. I promise I didn't mean it this time.) May the rod be ever in your favor. (SORRY I'M NOT SORRY.)

Presented without comment:

And:

And:

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Image: Cliff Lipson/CBS; @BBFeedsFairy/Twitter