While we’ve got emojis on the brain, let’s play a game, shall we? It’s called, “What does your most frequently used emoji say about you?”, and it’s designed to suss out exactly what sort of person you are based on your favorite iMessage character. It’s very scientific (by which I mean it is not at all scientific in any way and I made it all up), and your prize for your participation will be the enlightenment gained by knowing what your true emoji spirit animal is.
It should be noted, by the way, that our goal here is slightly different than the one employed by the branch of emojiology known as emojinalysis; emojinalysis, you see, attempts to explain everything that’s wrong with your life at any given moment based on your most recently used emojis. Emoji spirit animals, on the other hand, make it their point to plumb the hidden depths of your personality as evinced by your most regularly utilized emoji. Are you a Tropical Drink? A Pile of Poop? A Flexed Bicep? And what does that say about you? The only way to find out is to read on!
If You Favor the Pile of Poop Emoji…
You hate everything. But you generally manage to be positive in your negativity, if that’s even possible. You’re kind of like Eeyore: A little bit of a downer, but your friends still love you anyway. You always expect the worst, ostensibly so you won’t be disappointed when it inevitably happens, but really because you kind of love it when you can say “I told you so.” You do not understand the point of air freshener or Febreeze.
If You Favor the Bitch Please Emoji…
Technically this emoji is the Information Desk Person emoji, but it’s more commonly known as the Bitch Please emoji. You, my friend, are much like it in that you look all sweet, cheerful, and helpful… but only as a cover. Beneath your charming exterior, you mask a vicious and antagonistic nature; only one person can come out on top in this world, and that person is going to be you — come hell or high water. You think nothing of smiling to someone’s face, only to stab them in the back the moment they turn away. You would be a formidable opponent in the Hunger Games, although your victims wouldn’t know it until the last second. You also love kittens, rainbows, unicorns, and the color pink.
If You Favor the Syringe Emoji…
Either you have issues, or you’re a doctor. Or both. You are also a little a bit frightening.
If You Favor the Tropical Drink Emoji…
It’s always five o’clock somewhere for you! You’re the life of the party; in fact, as far as you’re concerned, life is a party, so you’re getting’ jiggy with it pretty much all the time. A social butterfly, you’re usually the one in charge of planning all your friend group’s get-togethers; you never met a mixed drink you didn’t like, and you have a hula skirt, Hawaiian shirt, or muumuu in your wardrobe that you wear regularly — and unironically. You have a hard time saying no to a good time, which means you sometimes overextend yourself and/or outstay your welcome. You can’t recall the last time you woke up earlier than 2 p.m. on a Sunday.
If You Favor the Wine Glass Emoji…
You’re the classier, more restrained version of your cousin the Tropical Drink fanatic. You’re also a little snobbier, though, so sometimes people have a hard time getting the measure of you. That’s OK, though; much the same way you’d rather have one glass of quality alcohol than a dozen glasses of cheap booze, you’d rather have a small group of trusted individuals around you than a crowd of people you hardly know. You consider Faulkner “a bit of light reading.” Some call you pretentious; you prefer “refined.”
If You Favor the Cheese Emoji…
Just like this emoji, you don’t actually exist. Are you someone’s imaginary friend? You must be. How else do we explain you?
If You Favor the Smiling Face with Heart-Shaped Eyes Emoji…
You are full of enthusiasm for the world. You greet every new person and every new experience with open arms, and you always manage to find the silver lining in every cloud. Your overwhelming positivity freaks some people out, but that’s OK; they’ll warm up to you when you show up at their door with a plate of those incredible macarons you whipped up the other day just because you could. Sometimes you seem like you’re trying too hard, and you tend to give your heart away a little too freely. You get mopey every once in a while, but you snap out of it fairly quickly and with few ill effects. You don’t have a “favorite” anything, because your favorite is everything.
If You Favor the Smiling Cat Face with Heart-Shaped Eyes Emoji…
You’re similar to the Smiling Face with Heart-Shaped Eyes person who lives across the hall from you, except that you direct all your positivity towards your eight million cats, because you hate people. Meow.
If You Favor the Women with Bunny Ears Emoji…
You enjoy screwing with people’s heads just because you can. Quick to analyze a situation, you will always choose to act in the way that will cause the most confusion. You don’t like it when other people outsmart you; your nemesis is the person who favors the “Man in Business Suit Levitating” emoji. You also have a grudging sort of respect for this strange business man and his levitating abilities; part of you looks forward to your many clashes. Basically, you two are Sherlock and Moriarty — although it’s anyone’s guess who’s who.
If You Favor the Flexed Biceps Emoji…
You’re The Situation. We’re sorry.
Images: Emojipedia
