By now, you’ve probably had a chance to at least glance at the list of new emojis we’ll all be adding to our pictorial vocabulary come July (if not had some time to justifiably rant and rage about them). You may have noticed that of the 250 new emojis, an awful lot of them are… kind of odd. Odd enough that it might be difficult to find a subtle way to work them into your daily texting lives.
But don’t worry — we’ve got you covered! In order to prepare you for the visual onslaught, we’ve put together a few examples demonstrating the practical application of these strange and wonderful symbols. Unfortunately mockups don’t exist for all of them yet, so we’ve had to make some guesses and replace a few with pieces of clipart; that aside, though, we feel these images accurately illustrate a variety of uses for emojis like “Hot Pepper,” “Rolled Up Newspaper,” and — most importantly — “Man in Business Suit Levitating.” How that last one made it into the mix, we’ll never know; now that it’s here, though, we may as well figure out how to use it.
As an educational aid, we’ve also built some pretend iPhone screenshots with iOS7text.com; as such, you should have a pretty good idea how all of these emoji elements will look together on your phone when the time comes. Is everybody seated comfortably? Then let’s begin:
1. Wind Blowing Face
Although its description notes “Wind Blowing Face” is intended to be “the face of a Mother Nature character, creating wind by blowing air from her mouth,” it can also be used to represent the transient nature of gossip. After all, it’s literally blowing hot air, right?
2. Stadium and Reversed Hand With Middle Finger Extended
Timely, given the current state of the World Cup.
3. Spider, Spider Web, and Rolled Up Newspaper
Roughly translated, this conversation reads as follows:
“AGH there is a HUGE SPIDER ON MY WALL what do I dooooo???”
“Hit it with something!”
"IT'S TOO BIG TO DO THAT!"
4. Hot Pepper
“Hot Pepper” may be used to refer to an attractive individual; alternatively, a more literal usage may be deemed necessary at certain times:
Note the recurring “Wind Blowing Face” motif, this time employed to mean “AGH MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE.”
5. White Dove of Peace and Skull and Crossbones
For those not yet fluent in the language of emoji, this message translates roughly as follows:
“I’m sorry for bailing on you last night. I’m a jerk.”
“NOT FORGIVEN.”
"Awwwww, man…"
6. Man in Business Suit Levitating
The only acceptable application of “Man in Business Suit Levitating” is as a confusion tactic for your worst enemies. He is not to be used lightly.
7. White Floppy Disk
I would like to take this moment to note that there is not, as yet, a dinosaur emoji — BUT THERE SHOULD BE.
8. Bellhop Bell
The preceding conversation should take place between you and your significant other. Upon your partner’s opening his or her door, he or she should find you standing there with takeout and his or her favorite ice cream. Many good times are guaranteed to be had by all.
9. Shopping Bag
This one is for the Miserable Men of Instagram.
10. Lips
In accordance with the dos and don’ts of dating texting etiquette, always text your partner the same amount of love they send you.
I hope these lessons have been informative; now you should have enough of a grasp on these new emojis to use them fearlessly. Go forth! Text! Emoji!
Image: zipckr/Flickr
