How Did The Lord Not Get This Job?

Hi, Style Network — it's Todd Kraines. Do you remember Style Network's Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous, hosted by the inimitable Robin Leach? You probably don't, since it's last new episode aired in 2000. But, like the network itself, the suped up version of MTV's Cribs is making a comeback and The Lord himself wanted to host. Keeping Up With The Kardashians star and Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott Disick, auditioned to host Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and got beat out by Nick Cannon. Is that a reality TV travesty or what?

Back in July 2013, The Hollywood Reporter exclusively announced that Cannon had be chosen to host the reboot of the iconic series for Style's relaunch. Sure, Cannon's got hosting experience from Wild N' Out and America's Got Talent and he's married to Mariah Carey, so he's got that rich and famous lifestyle down pat. But, who better to sing the ridiculous song of opulence than the self-dubbed Lord Disick? I mean, HE'S A LORD. (Okay, he's not really a lord, but whatever.) Disick's also got the fact that he's linked to one of the ultimate rich and famous families in the universe right now — the Kardashians. So how in the world did he not get this gig? It's not like his audition tape was half bad:

Right? Here's 9 reasons, just from Disick's Instagram account alone, that make him a better choice than Nick Cannon:

He Stayed At The Versace Mansion

We stay at the mansion when we in Miami — top that Nick Cannon.

He Eats Solid Gold For Breakfast

If that's not the definition of opulence, I don't know what is.

And Cartier Mints

#notsorry.

He's Dating A Kardashian

Need I say more?

His Toilet Paper Is Money

I mean, this is obviously a joke, but still.

He Only Travels Luxuriously

I distinctly remember hearing a lot about private jets on Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous. Clearly Disick knows a lot about that.

He's The Lord

Self-proclaimed, but publicly accepted.

He's Got At Least Four Rolls Royce Convertibles

And apparently he's in the market for another. I bet you drive the same car every day, don't you, Nick Cannon?

He's Got At Least This Many Rolexes

Seriously, how the hell did he not get this job? He IS this job.

Images: letthelordbewithyou/Instagram (9)