Entertainment
'The Smurfs 2' and 9 Other Insufferable Kids' Movies
Over the past decade, high-quality films like Up, Wall-E, Ratatouille, Coraline, Enchanted, and the Toy Story saga proved that so-called "kids" movies can be enjoyed by people of all ages. Turns out, it's not just eye-popping animation, but smart scripts with head and heart that can transform a children's film into a universally loved one. Now, 2011's hit The Smurfs and it's follow-up The Smurfs 2, which opens in theaters this weekend, on the other hand, don't fall into that category. The movies — which combine the elements live-action, animation, and ruining some of your beloved childhood characters —are loud, stupid, and uninspired. In the sequel, the Smurfs and their human friends (and foes) move from New York City to Paris, but parents who have to sit through it will feel like they're in the same place: hell.
Image: Columbia Pictures
'The Smurfs 2'
Over the past decade, high-quality films like Up, Wall-E, Ratatouille, Coraline, Enchanted, and the Toy Story saga proved that so-called "kids" movies can be enjoyed by people of all ages. Turns out, it's not just eye-popping animation, but smart scripts with head and heart that can transform a children's film into a universally loved one. Now, 2011's hit The Smurfs and it's follow-up The Smurfs 2, which opens in theaters this weekend, on the other hand, don't fall into that category. The movies — which combine the elements live-action, animation, and ruining some of your beloved childhood characters —are loud, stupid, and uninspired. In the sequel, the Smurfs and their human friends (and foes) move from New York City to Paris, but parents who have to sit through it will feel like they're in the same place: hell.
Image: Columbia Pictures
The 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Movies
Much like The Smurfs, the Alvin and the Chipmunks saga (there have been three of these movies date) have taken another generation's beloved cartoons and have turned them into unlikeable drivel for this generation. Despite their punny titles (the Squeakquel and Chipwrecked), no grown-up would be able to endure the modern take on Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Heck, even the adults in these movies couldn't stand it.
Image: Twentieth Century Fox
'Yogi Bear'
Now, just take everything we said about The Smurfs movies and Alvin and the Chipmunks movies and just apply it to the Yogi Bear movie (singular, thankfully).
Image: Warner Bros. Pictures
'Teen Beach Movie'
If you're not a 13-year-old girl, there's a good chance you probably have no idea what this even is, so consider yourself lucky. If, however, you are in the vicinity of a 13-year-old girl, you know all too well that this attempt at homage for 1960s beach blanket movies is more in the vein of High School Musical: a grating modern musical starring teens with a sunny disposition on life who, in a few years time, will swear they never meant to be role models to your children.
Image: Disney
'Monte Carlo'
Much like Teen Beach Movie, this isn't intended for anyone outside of its core demographic (tween girls), but that doesn't make Monte Carlo — an absurd movie about three young girls pretending to be socialites on vacation — any less depressing for an adult to watch.
Image: 20th Century Fox
'Alice in Wonderland'
Now, with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp on board, it's assumed that this movie is supposed to be aimed at adults, but no one over the age of 11 would be able to tolerate the dreadfully ugly imagery (in 3D, no less) and the even uglier adaptation of Lewis Carroll's classic novel Alice in Wonderland.
Image: Disney
'Zookeeper'
Granted, if you're an adult who willingly goes to see Kevin James movies targeted towards adults (like, say, the falsely titled Grown Ups movies), then you'll probably like his movies targeted towards kids. Nor will you be able to tell much of a difference. The movie, about a group of animals who help a zookeeper find love (sure!), actually features a sequence in which a gorilla goes to T.G.I. Fridays. It's product placement (a running theme in kid movies) at its bleakest.
'Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat'
We don't know what we did to Mike Myers to deserve this, but he — much like Jim Carrey did with The Grinch — managed to take one of the most beloved characters in children's literature, the Cat in the Hat, and turn it into a god awful nightmare. A crude, joyless, ugly experience, this 2003 live-action movie felt like watching people spit on Dr. Seuss' grave.
Image: Universal Pictures
'Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2'
Because, apparently, they didn't tie up all the loose ends in the original Baby Geniuses, Superbabies 2: Baby Geniuses is train wreck of a cheap "movie" that has only one bragging right on this list: It's the only one with a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. There, it's described as "ghastly," excruciating," and "intellectually offensive," among others.
Image: Triumph Films
'Daddy Day Camp'
Daddy Day Camp comes in a close second for unnecessary sequel to an already terrible kids' movie. The follow-up to the Eddie Murphy drivel Daddy Day Care is some how even more depressing, dumb, and downright disrespectful. A 90-minute headache.
Image: TriStar Pictures
