Entertainment

No Father's Day For You, Tywin

by Kelsea Stahler

On Father's Day, most people tend to put aside their petty squabbles with their fathers and celebrate the positive influence these men had on their children. However, when I say "most people," I am definitely not referring to folks in Westeros, where most fathers are often the problem — minus Ned Stark, whose honesty sent him to an early grave. And no one is more deserving of an anti-father's day celebration than patriarch of the Lannisters: Game of Thrones' Lord Tywin "Resting Bitch Face" Lannister.

There are few times we've ever found even an ounce of fatherly wisdom we could take to heart in any of Tywin's languorous speeches and sniveling snarls, in fact, more often than not, the mere sound of his voice sends us running for cover and clutching our ears. His timbre isn't exactly nails on a chalkboard (that would just be rude to the fantastic actor who plays Tywin, Charles Dance) but it certainly inspires a shrinking feeling with a side of inoperable rage. He makes his children and his enemies feel helpless, and so we absorb the feeling right along with them.

But is there a single reason this man could ever deserve a sliver of the Father's Day celebration? Let's just say a new set of golf clubs isn't exactly in Tywin's future.

Exhibit A: He is Absolutely No Fun

Yeah, my dad used to lecture me too. He just didn't do it while gutting a farm animal and snarling like Scar from The Lion King.

Exhibit B: He Terrifies His Children

He does this to a man nick-named "The King-Slayer." Keep that in mind.

Exhibit C: He Might Actually Be The Meanest Man Alive

JESUS. I mean sure, he says that he let Tyrion live because he was a Lannister. But that's not exactly an "I love you, son."

Exhibit D: Like Really, Really Mean

So much for making Pops proud, eh, Tyrion?

Exhibit E: Even Passive Agressive Tywin Is Super Harsh

He actually does not have a volume dial on his rage.

Exhibit F: Fine, I Guess He Made a Good Point Once

But he totally stole it from Shakespeare, so no Father's Day for you, Grampa Tywin.

Images: HBO (2); Giphy; iseizetheday7/Tumblr; impinainteasy/Tumblr; violentv/Tumblr (3); televisionwithoutpity/Tumblr