The Men of 'OITNB' Really Love 'Magic Mike'

It must be hard to be a male actor on Orange is the New Black . With a few exceptions (hello, Pornstache), you're not loved, or missed, or even feared, just tolerated. In a show about women, the men, no matter how talented or deserving, are simply background details; whenever they're the focus of a scene, it's hard for viewers to get invested, knowing that these men are taking screen-time away from Daya, or Nicky, or Suzanne. So that's why the male actors of Orange feel the need to show off their skills and get fans' attention off-screen — or at least, that's what we hope is the reason, because otherwise, there's no explaining why first Jason Biggs, and then Matt McGorry, recorded jokey Magic Mike audition tapes in their spare time.

Let's start wit McGorry's. With the help of CollegeHumor, the actor, who plays the adorable and frustrating Officer Bennett on the show, released his "leaked Magic Mike 2 audition" last week. In the video, he tries out for a number of roles in the film, none of which are stripper — which doesn't stop him from ripping off his shirt and showing off his "killer" dance moves all the same, much to the casting director's frustration.

And in Biggs', released back in 2012, the actor known to Orange fans as Larry imitates Matthew McConaughey's Magic Mike character, saying "alright, alright, alright" and telling (fake) audience members what parts of his body they're allowed to touch. Like McGorry, Biggs dances and undresses for the camera despite a lack of encouragement, at one point stripping down to just a cowboy hat and a thong.

Unfortunately for the two actors, there's no debate over whether either of them could actually land a spot in the upcoming sequel (the answer is a solid no). The real question is: which of their videos is more uncomfortable to watch? Personally, I'm going with Biggs'; although McGorry's is certainly cringeworthy, considering how mild-mannered Bennett usually is on Orange, Biggs' video is just painful. Between the cowboy hat, the bad Southern accent, and the sight of Jason Biggs in a thong that I'll never, ever unsee, the clip is enough to give a viewer nightmares. Sorry, Larry, but no matter how hard you try, no one finds you entertaining.

Plus, there's the whole factor of how and when the clips were released. McGorry's was done by a popular comedy site, at a time when everyone knows him as the quiet, well-meaning Bennett, a guy who'd never make a tape like this one. The actor is capitalizing on a moment, and although the clip is awkward, it does make us laugh. Biggs' tape, however, was released two years ago, before anyone had ever heard about Orange. Even worse, it was "leaked" by his wife, not a humor site or other comedy outlet. That means that in 2012, Biggs, an actor best known at the time for decade-old American Pie movies, decided that a great way to ingratiate himself with fans was by hopping on the Magic Mike bandwagon and recording this tape, despite prompting from no one except his wife.

So, in the competition of which male Orange star released the best Magic Mike clip, we're going with McGorry. That said, we're not encouraging the show's other men to follow suit; please, guys, no one needs to see Pornstache or Healy gyrating on a chair and stripping off their shirts.

Check out the two "audition tapes" below and see for yourself which is the most unsettling. McGorry's tape:

And the one by Biggs: